Before we got pregnant the first time I knew what I wanted pregnancy to be like. I imagined how I wanted to give birth and how I would breastfeed for at least a year. No, I’m not a control freak. I was just deeply unaware that things don’t happen the way they do in movies. Nature made the decisions and all I could do was go with the flow (not an easy task).
My husband proposed on a Dec 31st and our son River was born a year later. My water broke at 37 weeks and I was given Pitocin to induce the contractions I wasn’t having. After 19hrs of labor, our first love was finally in our arms! It took a few days for breastfeeding to become second nature to us, but once it happened it was a breeze. All I had to do was squish my boob into the “shape of a taco” and pull my little guy’s face into it. Or hold him like a football, as they say. Simple right? It was an incredible sensation that I thought would last for as long as we wanted. Wrong.
When River was 5 months old, I married David (I still smile at the memories). Around that time, my milk supply began to drop and we had no choice but to supplement with formula. I was so sad that I wasn’t his primary source of nutrition anymore. Also, the idea of feeding him processed milk broke my heart, so I researched for days until I found the “cleanest” organic formula on the market. I had also read that a baby’s taste for different foods stemmed from breast milk, so I became paranoid that my kid wouldn’t accept a varied diet in the future.
Here’s the thing; I was being a good mom, a great mom actually. I was doing everything in my power to nourish my kids. I was given the gift of breast milk from an amazing friend that I finally accepted and felt so grateful for. I have a wonderful and unbreakable bond with both my children and they love such a variety of foods. I mean, they eat everything. Above all, they are healthy and smart. Nature dictated that my water should break at 37 weeks… both times, and that my milk supply should diminish at 5 months… both times. I had no choice but to go with the flow. Though it was an emotional rollercoaster, at the end of the day my ultimate goals for my kids were exceeded. I’m a very happy mama.