The feeling of not being good enough, the stories we create in our mind about another persons intentions and thoughts, the fear that creeps in regarding our future, the uncertainty of ones feelings towards us and the dreaded “i’ll never be ____ so why even bother” this is what I call mental slavery. Our minds creating catastrophic situations that only end up negating any of the positive mind work we do. It’s a default mode for many, sitting in a place of low vibrational thoughts and feelings, without even realizing how we got there. I do it daily! But after doing a lot of self work, reading and soul searching I’m better equipped at observing these thoughts and moving past them quickly. When we can find tools to re-calibrate it becomes easier to deal with and doesn’t throw us completely off track when these negative thought patterns arise.
These tools include; acknowledgement of thought/fear arising in your mind, acceptance of the thoughts, embracing the feeling and sending a clear reassurance. I say to myself “this is the story you’ve made up about___and it isn’t based on truth, you’re okay” sometimes if it’s been really hard to move through, I will even speak to the little child feeling that’s within (when I lean in to the feeling, it often seems to come from a very young place) I’ll say “you’re safe, you’re loved, be free from fear” that’s often enough to help. It’s funny because it’s a similar way in which I communicate with Bodhi. “Mamas here, you seem really upset, do you want to be close?”
It’s so interesting to watch how a child responds to that kind of energy as opposed to threats, consequences or a short fuse. It’s the same as us adults, we just want to be held in these moments and who better to hold us than ourselves? We have to advocate for ourselves and that in turn encourages those closest to us to advocate for us too.
Secondly, I share my thoughts and feelings with Mark (choose someone trusted, close to you and someone who loves to see you shine) I’ll tell him “what I’m making up about this is___” and even just the acknowledgement that it’s something that I’ve created in my mind based on my interpretation of the chosen subject versus what’s actually true, is really healing and helpful. Mark is a good listener and can help steer me back to centre. To get a little esoteric, we can start to break down the meaning of truth- Eckhart Tolle says; Can the Truth be put into words? Yes, but the words are, of course, not it. They only point to it. The Truth is inseparable from who you are. Yes, you are the Truth. If you look for it elsewhere, you will be deceived every time. The very Being that you are is Truth”
I digress! (I’m seriously obsessed with the teachings of Eckhart Tolle and could go on and on!) by sharing your feelings with someone it releases them and soon you will start to feel a shift. By choosing someone who only wants the best for you, it means that you’re in a safe space to share your oftentimes irrational and most vulnerable thoughts and feelings. Feeling safe is the key to expressing them, which in turn lets them go.
I once read somewhere to “have fewer opinions” I think that’s absolutely brilliant (in my opinion hahaha) I really resonate with the idea of being open to all and any possibilities, being in flow with life in all shades is exciting to me. Ridding ourselves of the need to dissect, label and judge situations, instead just sitting in them minus the overthought, is a really recharging practice. I believe it’s important for us to understand that we alone are responsible for our thoughts and we have the power to create a calming and peaceful environment for ourselves through the practices above as well as any work leading to a more mindful and spiritual practice. When I’m marinating in that kind of place, nothing penetrates negatively, and yes it takes work and practice to do it; to breathe deeply, be present, go within and be our best selves. So when the feeling starts to arise in you and you can feel your panic/fear/anxiety/sadness build, stop a moment; take a deep breath and start leaning in to the feeling with open loving and reassuring arms. See if it makes a difference.