Are you struggling with balancing being the best mom ever with following your own heart path?
Today women are expected to “Have it All”. The perfect house, the perfect family, the all organic perfectly packed bento boxes to send to school each day, the perfect relationship, the perfect job that is financially abundant and spiritually fulfilling. Is this even possible? If so, how can we approach this unclimbable mountain? Are we setting ourselves up for failure? Let’s explore this!
Here are some things that we struggle with when it comes to trying to balance it all in the modern world. Do you experience these problems?
- Guilty that you are not fully maximizing your day
- Guilty when you are focusing on your work and not on your child
- Having unobtainable expectations, and always falling short of your own expectations
- Desire to be a more present parent
- Desire to work more on your own Heart Path
- Too much multitasking, feeling spread too thin.
- Anxiety about handing over baby to someone else when working
- Not having enough time in the day
- Physical/mental exhaustion
- Half finishing a whole bunch of tasks, but unable to see big projects through to completion
Females have a biological need to multi-task, and this helps us keep our children safe, fed and happy. However the modern world can send this need into overdrive, leaving us spinning our wheels and running around like dizzy chickens.
Basically the solution that has worked best for us is a well organized system and schedule that allows us to achieve everything we need to do, while maximizing efficiency and presence.
Here are some ways to get started:
- Adjust your expectations. Shift your focus from perfection to authenticity and set realistic goals.
- Get practical: Figure out your priorities and what you need to achieve every week. From these, generate a weekly task list. (This should include everything from food shopping, exercise, lunch with friends, chores, work ect.)
- Put your weekly task list into the categories of 1.) Can Do with Kids and 2.) Cannot do with Kids
- Get a cute planner or figure out how to use the calendar on your phone
- Schedule (in planner or phone) any weekly tasks that you can do with your kids, and make the task a fun game in which you involve, engage and be present with the littles
- Schedule (in planner or phone) any tasks that you cannot do with your kids for when they are in school, with a nanny or napping (this is why a consistent sleeping schedule for the babe is GOLDEN)
- Utilize things like Thrive Market or Amazon Auto-ship* services to set up monthly deliveries for things you use habitually (like toothpaste, toilet paper or peanut butter)
- If you need more time for your kid-free weekly tasks, add more time at school/nanny/play dates and work during that time
- Try to save weekends and evenings to be present with your partner and children, and schedule tasks for weekdays
- Focus on finding childcare in alignment with your core values. This will best support children’s development and alleviate some guilt about handing them over to someone else.
- Find child care at the places you may need to go (eg. a gym that has child care or a work space connected to a play centre where someone watches your child while you work within an ear shot)
- Carve out at least a few moments of presence with your partner each day (and set a regular date night)
- Be present with kids when with them to feel less guilty when you are not with them
- Realizing that when mama is happy and living in balance, then the whole family is happier
- Getting kids on a schedule that pencils in healthy meals and all of their activities
- Schedule in plenty of sleep (for mama) and organic superfoods to ensure the highest level of energy for you. This will help you to stick to your big plans
- Complete a task all the way before moving onto next. Try to find the joy in the task
- Fit in a daily spiritual grounding practice (This could be meditating for 5 minutes in the morning, or doing the sun salutation)
-Amber L’Estrange and Jenna Pennrose
The Mother Loving Future Show
ABOUT AMBER + JENNA/ Amber L’Estrange and Jenna Pennrose are podcasters, bloggers and founders at The Mother Loving Future. Amber L’Estrange was born in South Africa, grew up in Sydney modeling and acting and is currently based in Los Angeles. She is married to Cary and they have a son named Valentine. Amber is a certified Wholistic Health Coach and Co-Founder of blog and podcast “The Mother Loving Future”. Amber gets excited about adventures, medicinal food, female empowerment, building community, and communing with nature. Jenna Pennrose is a philosopher and lyricist born in Los Angeles. She earned her BA in Philosophy (American University of Paris), and MA in Anthropology (King’s College London). She is married to Jesse and they have two children, Milo and Maisy. Jenna gets excited about thinking outside the box, ancient temples, color, esoteric information, repeated numbers, catchy melodies and beats, good triumphing over darkness.
*If Instacart is your area, check it out for groceries. It is a massive time saver. xx, YZM