How I Learned to Accept the Journey by Sierra Thomas
When I found out I was accidentally pregnant with my now 2-year-old daughter, I was devastated. This was NOT what I had planned, what I had expected. How could my life suddenly divert from this very well-thought out plan? How could I live a life that didn’t comply with societal expectations? Adding to this devastation was the fact that my daughter’s father not only did not want a relationship with me but also did not want one with our daughter. How could I be a single mother? At the very least, if I couldn’t have my perfect plan I could at least have the perfect little family.
For months, I rebelled against these events and tried desperately to convince my ex to be a part of the “happy little family’ picture that I clung to. Through therapy, my family and friends and the classes I was taking, I learned that I am capable. That every day I was already doing it. While I was wishing for things to be a certain way, I was already living and surviving in a life where things were not that certain way. Once I realized that, I realized that life didn’t always go as planned. And that’s okay. My life’s journey is different than anyone else’s, and that’s okay too. It’s more important to me now to make the most out of the time I have with my daughter, instead of wishing for things to be different.
As I look back now on the last two years as a single mother, I have noticed one incredible pattern. All of the wonderful things I have in my life now stem from previous decisions. If I hadn’t had my daughter, I wouldn’t have ended up at the school I am. If I hadn’t ended up at this school, I wouldn’t have the most supportive and amazing friendships I have now. If I hadn’t had these friendships, I wouldn’t have figured out who I really am and what I want for my life. And coming full circle, all of these things allow me to be the best version of myself, the best mother I can be.
Life is a journey, not a destination. Cliché as it may be, I find this to ring true in every aspect of my life. When we come to accept that plans fail, things don’t go the way we planned, and life is full of surprises, we can then begin to find happiness and peace and live our lives to the fullest.
My daughter Brooklyn was born just two short years ago, and since then my life has been forever changed. I am currently a student at Grand View University in Des Moines, Iowa. I’m an English major with a love for words, books and social engagement. I have a passion for people, and strive to work towards bettering myself through supporting others, and I hope to eventually pass this down to my daughter. I also have a 4 year old Shiba Inu named Miya who completes our little family. I found Your Zen Mama at a time in my life where I was feeling somewhat lonely, and I think that YZM does well in creating a more supportive and loving atmosphere for mommas to share with and praise one another.