Postpartum Week 10 by Teresa Palmer

What week

10

How big is baby

Haven’t weighed him this week but he is very chunky I’m guessing he is 13lbs something!

What’s something new this week

He seems to have fallen in to a natural routine of wake up, nurse, stay awake for about 45 mins to 1 hour, nurse and sleep again. It’s pretty predictable which has made it easier.

Also I did a shoot with Forest a few days back and we had to cut one of his sleeps short. He was so sweet and happy and just the easiest little thing he didn’t mind being woken up at all. He snuggled with so many different people and happily got changed in to different outfits! A big shout out to Millk, Summer + Storm and Yoli + Otis who let us take some of the amazing kids clothes home from the shoot. All very earthy fabrics and vibes, totally loving it! The clothes are SO gorgeous. I will give more details and show pics at a later date.

Most challenging moment

My THREENAGER! Well to be fair he’s only really a threenager when he is either hungry OR tired so I’ve got to be super prepared to ensure he doesn’t get to either of those places because otherwise it’s just negotiation after negotiation and some intense power struggles! It only started this past week and only lasted about 4 days but it was almost comical!

I’ve noticed it’s worse with Mark, he really rejects Marks direction sometimes and is a lot softer with me which has been a bit of a theme at our house since Bodhi was born! When he was younger he only ever wanted me to comfort him or hold him and he was possessive of me, but it’s changing now and he has forged a really beautiful and connected relationship with his dad but still likes to be competitive with him in that boy on boy kind of way! Bodhi has been feeling like he wants to be in charge and is pushing boundaries, if he wants something that we don’t want him to have he makes sure we know just how mad he is about not getting his way! Sometimes Mark and I have to stifle our laughter because his authoritative voice is absolutely too cute “I’m the adult!” but we have to try to take it seriously of course because he is being so earnest in his feelings.

We tend to practice lots of different parenting methods like RIE and gentle discipline, but in some moments it really feels like none of it is being helpful. Sometimes all he actually needs is a big long loving hug and a cuddle in the midst of a tantrum or power struggle. If he feels any frustration from either of us it makes the situation worse, so we always try to be super calm and loving with him even if he is testing us. I can see he is trying on some new behaviour but as I said earlier it’s always when he is hungry or tired, I’ve been bringing tons of snacks with us and have been making sure we have some really quiet connected time together to recharge his batteries which has definitely been helping. The last few days he seems back to himself but watch this space haha!

Something you loved this week

I really loved finding some inspiration!! I started YZM’s sister site Your Zen Life for many reasons, one being that I really felt moved to create a POSITIVE community for people to help bring each other together, raise each other up and be our best selves. It felt AMAZING to have this community and I started doing these talks called Tez Talks (yes a play on words with Ted Talks!) where I’d talk about all sorts of topics ranging from loving our body, not taking things personally to manifesting etc. I started to get such beautiful feedback from people and it felt incredible to be connecting in such a real way with folks, given that I believe my industry can give people a false sense of reality. I wanted to ensure that people could see that I’m not what they perceive me to be or look like in magazine shoots, on the red carpet or in films, that in fact I’m flawed and vulnerable and have insecurities just like them. That they didn’t need to be anything other than themselves and that I didn’t need to be either. I wanted to strip away the facade and just be real. I loved engaging in this way. And I still do. Then life happened, I got married, got really busy with kids, family life and work and YZL and Tez Talks took a back seat. My focus shifted and I began Your Zen Mama with Sarah and channeled my new passion of parenting in to this website. I also began to doubt my openness and lost some steam, I wondered was it helpful?

Then just yesterday on the plane I watched the very moving documentary EMBRACE and suddenly it became clear to me just how important it is to me to continue to share my voice and use my platform to connect people through Tez Talks, the YZL community as well as what we do here at YZM and that what I was sharing was having an impact in some way, even if it was small. To strip down the barriers between those in the media and those not can be really healing since we often find ourselves in a state of comparison with those we look up to. I know I certainly strived to be like those I saw in magazines and it was never attainable because our idea of who these people are isn’t in fact based on anything real. So I was reminded through this documentary that if I and these communities can spearhead a small movement towards unity and positive engagement with ourselves and one another then absolutely I will continue, fears and doubts aside. I got a sudden hit of inspiration and now I am excited to once again jump back in to having a bigger presence on YZL and recording some more of these Tez Talks! So thanks EMBRACE! oh and please join the #Ihaveembraced movement, I have. For more information check out the doc.

Mama time?

I walked down the street to get a green juice two days in a row this week! Haha victory! It was only 20 mins away spent from the kids but still it was just me on my own picking up a green juice and it felt great!

Next week after the Oscars weekend I’m going to go to the gym! I just joined a new gym which has a child care, Forest is now old enough to go for an hour at a time, so my plan is to do a class there about 3 times a week when B is at preschool. Ideally I would do 1 Mommy and Me yoga class and 1 hike outside of the gym too so I’m moving my body about 5 times per week whilst taking the weekend to do nothing! I predict that I will NOT do this haha! but at least saying it out loud means there’s is something to aim for. I get those 3 precious hours to myself (and with Forest) with B in preschool so I might not feel like working out during that time but we will see!

What am I eating?

Tons of really yummy vegetarian foods lately and I’ve had a healthier week this week. I’ve probably had a similar amount of the heavier carbs that I’ve been eating but I’ve added a lot more leafy green veggies. We went to perhaps the BEST restaurant for vegetarians that we have been to, it’s in Bondi, Sydney and it’s called Blanca, it serves meat too but the veggie options were absolutely mouth watering and sensational.

What’s working?

Sleep is working! I was worried that this time in Australia would really mess Forest’s sleep up and especially to be sleeping without the Snoo, but after the initial adjustment period of 3 days, he has slept really well, only having one wake up each night. It’s so heavenly and he isn’t pooping during the night so we haven’t needed to change him which makes it all so much easier. Bodhi has also been sleeping the whole night in his bed which is great. I’m loving being well rested, it makes such a difference when it’s so non stop with all of the kids during the day.

My Body

Made, carried and delivered two babies! Isn’t it funny how easily we can forget to take a moment to celebrate our bodies!? We spend far too much time punishing ourselves over what we see as our sagging breasts, mum bums, cellulite, muffin tops, wobbly arms, thick thighs etc etc. whatever story we have made up about ourselves- the list goes on far too long!

In fact, take a moment right now to give your body thanks for creating life and nurturing that life, for being the body that brings comfort to our children and the one feeds our children. Give thanks to our hands that touch them softly on the cheek and wipe away their tears, our chests that they cry in to and fall asleep on no matter how big, small, soft it is, our bellies they throw their arms around, our legs that carry us every day doing all the things that Mothers do. The dark circles under our eyes (mine are especially dark!) that remind us that we lose sleep because we are up changing, kissing, comforting, holding, rocking, feeding and worrying about our little, noisy, overtired, incredible and most precious children. Our whole beings that pour so much energy in to our children to make sure they feel happy and safe and loved. You rock Mama! And if you don’t have kids you also rock! And your body is worthy of love, celebration and acceptance.

We need to love our bodies because they belongs to us and it brings us life, it needs love and appreciation right now for all that it does and all that it brings us. So stop judging and comparing and look at your body and say thank you, thank you for all the things that you do for me, you are beautiful and you are mine!

Checking in

Mark and I can get really irritable with each other! We get so busy with the kids and don’t carve out specific time to be with each other outside of the kids. I can function fine doing this although I do miss having time just him and I together, but if Mark feels disconnected from me then it really rattles him and then we start getting on each other’s nerves. I think we are just living the typical busy lives of parents and not having enough time for ourselves or each other is just apart of it. Mark thinks we need to do better to prioritise time with each other and I think both of us are right! We DO need to spend time having more one on one time outside of this kids AND we are busy parents with 3 kids plus work commitments that we can also let each other off the hook if we aren’t reaching every goal. I do know that our kids are really happy, loved and have fun and that Mark and I are such a good parenting team, we really compliment each other, so that’s a victory! But we probably could be even better if we did have a chance to have strictly adult time sans the kiddos. SO I decided to come up with the 8:30pm-10pm rule! It’s US time with NO PHONES AT ALL! Haha it’s the time when all the kids are in bed and we get to connect without phones (although we can totally binge watch some shows!) so friends, if you’re wondering why I don’t text after 8:30pm this is why! We are implementing this rule next week starting Monday. I’ll keep you updated! Do you and your partner have any rules to make sure you’re having couple time?