Homeward Bound by Teresa Palmer
Hey friends,
This month I chat all the things my kids are up to and interview them both! It’s a bit of a mish mash of a family update. I also dive Forest's newly found separation anxiety and the differences in parenting styles between Mark and I which was hilarious to pinpoint. Happy June folks!
We are back in America this week, and it’s been absolutely blissful. The boys have been loving playing with their toys that had been long forgotten. I’ve been having lots of downtime, sorting through things at the house, doing playdates and swimming in the pool with them. It’s exactly what the doctor ordered after 9 months straight of working and boy, could I get used to this. If money weren’t an issue I would want to live like this forever!
Every parent tells you how fast it goes, but boy these little men seem to be growing like weeds. I’ve been loving listening to Bodhi’s stories and thoughts recently. It’s crazy all the things they retain and the way they create their own beliefs and opinions outside of us. I love Bodhi’s mind and his imagination. I’m often wondering what makes him gravitate to the things he loves, he is his own little person and that’s never been more evident than now at age 4. I’ve been writing so much of what he says down, so that I don’t forget all the funny and sweet moments. The other day Bodhi said to me as I was walking out the door for an audition, “Mum you’re sooo beautiful. You look great without makeup but soo magnificent with makeup!” hahaha I almost fell off my chair. Out of the mouths of babes, hey?
My big project for these couple of months of downtime is creating scrapbooks for the boys for their first 2 years. Eventually, I want them to have a scrapbook for every 2 years of their childhood. Since they were born, I’ve kept a file for them, almost like a journal filled with their firsts, funny and quirky things they’ve done, interesting behavioural things, transitions and how they’ve handled them. Like a go-to book of memories and reflections. It’s been nice comparing the two also. For instance Bodhi was a whole shoe size and a half bigger than Forest at his age and they are both exactly the same height at 18 months. Forest is nursing more, they are talking about the same amount and Bodhi had much less hair at Forests age. It’s so amazing reminiscing about it all, aaaaand it’s making me clucky again, I’m feeling ready for some newborn yumminess, I just have to convince Mark of the timing now!
My interview with the Palmer boys.
Forest, 18 months old:
What’s your name?
Folly
How old are you?
Two (then puts finger to mouth and says) “sssh”
What’s your favourite colour?
Colour. Red.
Who do you love?
Luff luff YOU (gives me a kiss) then says booby!
What’s your favourite animal?
Amnal! Kitty, meow.
How can the world be better?
Better. Kiss better.
What’s your favourite thing to do?
Catch. Rap. Blocks building.
What’s your favourite word?
Colour purple.
What’s the hardest thing about being a kid?
Called Baby. kid! car! baby!
How old is mummy?
Mummy older.
Bodhi, 4 years old.
What does love mean?
You really love somebody. It feels like you really want to be with somebody, so you want to help them everyday and see them everyday and give them hugs, give them kisses everyday.
What do you want to do when you grow up?
I want to drive a rocket ship and drive people to other worlds and places.
What’s the hardest thing about being a kid?
That you have to tell me so many things to do, I have to do that or this or that. That’s so hard about my life.
What’s your favourite thing to do?
To eat food. I like to do everything else, I just get tired of stuff though. Maybe I’ll be about to play, but then I think I want to have food or have a drink. I like to do everything really like that, I love to drink coconut water.
What’s your favourite holiday?
To America, at the shop where those muffins with the white bit on top. Yum. That’s my favourite shop in a country.
How can the world be better?
If you could do whatever you want to do. I think other kids would like that too. If there was no homeless people just people that could do whatever they want. No children and no parents, no babies to not have anything, if they could have all of the stuff and if there were no homeless people in this world. No mummies or no daddies to not have anything. That’s how I think the world should be.
If you had 4 wishes what would they be;
1. If I could fly
2. If I could be a robot
3. If I could turn into a baby dragon and treasure would be real and I could find treasure “chest’s”
4. No bad guys.
If you were the president or prime minister what you you do?
1- everybody finds treasure chests.
2- you can always bring the treasure home.
3- giving everyone food.
4- giving homeless people money and food.
How could Mummy and Daddy be better parents?
I’m going to answer one more question okay?? Literally Mum! If you always give me tv, movies, candies, if I can always go on a plane, if I can always do stuff that I like to do.
Favourite thing about Mummy and Daddy?
When you let me go to Universal Studios, when you turn the pool on the right temperature. When Daddy gives me tv shows and Mummy doesn’t know! (Hahah)
Any last thoughts?
Maybe I will marry you Mummy. I’ll marry Teresa! Or zoom away and marry Zach (Isaac's stepdad!)
He then looks out amongst the hills of Hollywood and says wistfully. “I’m looking at the future”
Oh boy! The part about Mark giving him shows cracks me up! Bodhi has started this narrative for himself that goes a little something like this; “Dad let’s me watch shows, eat sugar, stay up, have treats and Mum doesn’t!” This isn’t true about Mark, however, when I’m not home the rules do bend slightly, I know Bodhi might get a show or will get to go to bed way later than usual or they’ll play a video game together, Mark calls it “Daddo time”. I’m sure it’s good for him to have it switched up but I certainly don’t like feeling like the “boring” parent. I suppose his ease with some of these things balances out my rather hardcore stance on tv/video games occurring VERY rarely!
That leads us to our differences in parenting styles! How is it in your household? Do you have similar techniques and philosophies?
When I think about it, Mark and I are actually on the same page about almost everything. We are both very laid back, however I’m a little more focused on keeping home life somewhat routined e.g. teeth, pjs, 3 books and sleep all happens at 7:45pm. I’m also the one that makes sure they have regular baths (Mark would probably leave them unwashed and wild until their smell raised some flags). I'm also the planner of their schedules- play dates, extra curricular activities, schools/camps etc, and I am much more diligent about very limited screen time and picking up after themselves.
Mark is more relaxed with those things, he doesn’t think TV a few times a week is a big deal, he also doesn’t make them clean up after themselves, he allows desserts often but is very on point with them emotionally and is great at laying down boundaries in terms of behaviour.
I definitely spoil them too much! A trip to Universal Studios here, adventure to the toy store there, spontaneous road trip to a water park, etc. Mark is more of a homebody so prefers to keep our activities based around the house. He is also much more careful with them in terms of taking risks, he worries about them hurting themselves and is quick to stop any activity that looks even remotely daring. I’m probably too lax the other way, let them try it! And then I hear the chorus of “told you so’s” when one of them hurts themselves.
We both have to be more on top of the kids eating veggies! They eat organic foods, but a lot of the time it’s just the staples of pasta, vegan pizza, quesadillas etc. The no brainers, that we know the kids will wolf down in a heartbeat without any fuss. This month we have committed to branching out and trying new foods with the kids and loading them up on more greens and fruit! We are going to get them in on the cooking so we think that’ll be helpful.
I think our differences actually make us stronger. We both are the disciplinarians, we are both totally goofy and playful with them and are very affectionate towards our boys. It’s always an adventure at our house which I love. When push comes to shove we can really get on the same page fast. I had to talk to Mark about stopping the late bedtimes for Bodhi when I was working and he had to chat to me recently about letting Forest eat anything sweet that I am eating myself (been having a maaaajor sweet tooth lately!) we are a team and with good communication, and we try to figure it all out.
So far, this has been my favourite month of the year. There are things to navigate, like Forest’s sudden separation anxiety and being “fraid” of anything too loud. We had to cancel his little RIE summer camp because he couldn’t handle being without me for 2 hours a day, a few times a week. I couldn’t bear picking him up with his little after cry shudder. I also had to race out of my gym class because he had been crying in the kids club. He just isn’t ready to be away yet, and that’s okay. I’m the centre of his universe right now and I know these things shift and change so quickly so I want to honour all his big feelings. I know he will grow out of his separation anxiety, and I’m going to give him the space to do that. He is just the most snuggly and connected in little boy and just adores his Mummy, which swells my heart. It’s funny because of all our boys, he really is the most confident and independent. Wandering off and exploring at parks and in public, engaging with total strangers all the time, we can’t take our eyes off of him! He goes to anyone for cuddles but the action of dropping him off somewhere and saying goodbye is very confronting for him right now. There are lots of fun activities that we can do together so thats what we are going to do for now. How did your babe move through their separation anxiety?
I hope July is beautiful for you all. I’ll be spending it with my kids, and friends in the LA sun, lots of pool days and chilling, recharging from months of work. I’ll also be ridding my house full of unnecessary junk, there’s no greater feeling than minimizing STUFF, this might be the thing I’m looking forward to the most. Thanks for being a part of this community friends and I’ll see you next month.
xx