My 4-year-old son was sitting in his car seat crying. He had been unsettled ever since returning from seeing his father and stepmother overseas. While he was used to having someone put him to bed and rub his back, or read him a book, his father let him cry himself to sleep for a few nights in a row. Sam came back home a wreck.

After two days of his crying on and off for no real reason, he was crying yet again. I finally turned to him with a stern voice and said: “Sam, you need to stop crying already.” I was unprepared for his response. “Stop the car, get a book, hold me, but don’t tell me to stop crying.”

I was stopped dead in my tracks. Obviously his words were oh-so-true, and I realized I had something to learn about my sensitive son.

Children come with batteries included and all the energy a human could ask for. What they lack however, is an instruction manual on how to treat their unique personality needs.

I am not an overly emotional person, but after I had my son’s natal chart done and found out he had an abundance of water in his chart - I found out he needed far more physical contact and quiet than I.

Knowing Sam’s nature, I adjusted my parenting. This is exactly the value of astrology: to understand the uniqueness of each of your children, and everyone you interact with. To see them on their terms. To custom-design your parenting to serve the child's nature -- not yours.

When I was a kid, my mom would give me a blanket whenever she was cold. “But, mom I’m not cold,” I’d say. “Oh yes you are,” she’d reply.

We constantly project our sensibilities onto our child. It's important to know that one child needs boundaries and consistency, while another child longs for freedom and constant change.

Both of my brothers have the same birthday, four years apart – but oh my, how different they are from one another. One of my brothers is what appears as lazy and so sweet. While the other is a vivacious business man with excessive ambition. How does Astrology explain that? It’s not just the birthday that counts, it’s the year, the time of day...even the city.

By studying Astrology, I look at my family through the lens of distinctions: thereby honoring the differences. So often, we project -- we want everyone to be identical to me -- to respond with the same operating system that I have. But it's just not real.

It becomes so much easier to love who that person is -- exactly as they are -- when the cosmic imprint is in your awareness. Love finds a much easier access when we are informed and aware of the stars.

Debra Silverman is part astrologer, part psychologist, part comedian and ALL REAL. Over the past 40 years of private practice, Debra has helped thousands of individuals achieve emotional health and wisdom based on their unique personality and the four elements: water, air, earth, and fire. Debra’s mothering approach to understanding people has earned her international fame and admiration, including from celebrities like Sting, Madonna, and Shailene Woodley. Her online school, Applied Astrology, is open for registration twice per year, and you can start learning Astrology with her today with this FREE Moon PDF.

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Thank Heaven for Little Stars: Conscious Parenting with Astrology By Debra Silverman