What Week?

Weeks 3 & 4

How big is baby?

Around 13pounds 15 ounces

What’s something new this week?

Winter is waking up to the world more. She has been making eye contact and opening her eyes more and the awake time has been more frequent.

Most challenging moment?

Sometimes it’s hard to give myself permission to rest. I have been pretty good about allowing myself the time to heal but my brain keeps telling me there is a list of emails, todos and work stuff that I should be doing. It’s hard not to give into that but I am trying to honor the first forty days and focus on my mind, my body and baby.

I noticed a little bump above Winter’s belly button. I was worried as I stare at her all day and I didn’t notice this before. I sent a picture to my friend Anna and asked her if her babies had anything like this on their tummies and she sent the photo to our doctor. He said that it was a hernia that will go away in a few months and that its very common in new babies as they are developing. I had no idea so I was relieved it wasn’t anything scary.

Something you loved this week?

I love seeing a baby awaken more to the world. I love seeing my kids respond to baby and make connections with her it’s really sweet. In week 4 we took Winter outside to the front yard and ate a snack under the sycamore tree. It was very bright outside for her but the kids loved having her out where they play. It felt good for me to be out in the fresh air.

Mama time?

I started reading a book this week and so far it’s SO good. The Dutch House is the name of it. I love reading and find that it’s a great relaxation for me the shut off my brain and get immersed in a story.

What am I eating ?

Still following the First Forty Days and I will have lots of recipes and a whole guide by the end for all of you! It’s been incredible to eat warming foods, hot teas and nourishing meals.

I have been drinking Dandy Blend instead of coffee and it’s been amazing. Its great liver support and tastes a lot like coffee because the dandelion root is roasted. If you are looking for a nice alternative it works great.

My body.

I can tell my uterus is firming up a bit and my organs are finding their place. I feel less vulnerable to gravity when I walk to the bathroom now and the pressure has gone away. One day after doing a little too much I started bleeding again and realized my body was telling me to lay back down and rest. It takes so long for our bodies to heal and to avoid damage for the future, we need to use this time to care for it.

One of Erics friends got me a lavender cozy heating pillow. They heat it for me in the microwave and I put it on my tummy when I get cramps. It has been so amazing and helpful.

Some of the things I loved using this time around.

-The instant cold pads from Freda Mom

- Boob underwear is very soft and ultra-supportive.

-Also love the high wasted undies from Bimby and Roy and their bras.

-I bought reusable nursing pads that have been fantastic.

-Gentle belly wrapping so you aren’t squishing the organs together but just allowing support to your abdomen.

I will have more but for now these have been some PP staples.

Checking in.

Postpartum Anxiety. This is something that many women have and yet have no idea they are dealing with it. I remember with Wyatt I was always worried someone was gonna break into our house in the middle of the night and hurt him because of some book I read where this happened. With Esmé I had this fear she would stop breathing when she was asleep. For some reason with Winter I am always picturing tripping and dropping her. I am not sure why or if I feel unstable on my feet but I always play out these horrible scenarios in my head of dropping her by accident. It’s awful and traumatizing because it goes so far in my head and then I feel shook after the thought has passed. I know this is normal and I just have to remind myself this isn’t real this is my anxiety and my baby is safe in my arms. The reason I am telling you these inner thoughts is because I want you all to know if this is happening to you its ok to talk about it and allow yourself the release of processing it and letting it go. You are not alone. This has happened to me and so many of my girlfriends and we all share stories and it really helps to not feel alone in these thoughts.

If you ever feel as though you are too scared and it’s hard to function and you need help please reach out to someone. Your partner, care provider, family, mom friends, mommy and me teacher whoever you feel safe talking to.

With love,

Sarah