Chalk the Talk By Allie Rosen
Commit to a herbgarden they said, learn a language, clean out the shed.
At first, I was baffled by this advice - that a bubble of unexpected time could be spent slam dunking goals. Goals that I had previously identified, but never really felt the compulsion to conquer.
Actually I was more baffled at the prospect of unexpected time as a concept in and of itself. Could this period really harvest the most elusive currency of all – time? With two kids under the age of four now permanently at home, I was sceptical to say the least. But willing to investigate.
This was four weeks ago, when I had just started coming to terms with the fact that, like so many others, the industry I was working in had ground to a sudden halt.
On the way home from what would be my last day in the office I picked up some arts and craft supplies. Among them was some industrial grade sidewalk chalk, the kind my childhood heroes in Now and Then would have used as they drew peace signs on the curb in bell bottoms listening to The Archies. Sugar, ah honey honey…You are my candy girl And you got me wanting you…Honey, ah sugar sugar.
For six days the chalk sticks stood lifeless in their brightly coloured box while I darted around the house creating activities to keep the kids busy for long enough so I could buy the herbs, pick the language and climb up into the shed. I was spending time distracting my brood in the hope it would buy me time. Now I’m no mathematician, but the equation wasn’t adding up.
‘OK’ I announced early one Tuesday morning to my three and a half year old Luella, and 14 month old Teddy as they sat squinting in the early morning haze of post warm milk. ‘We are writing a list of what we want achieve this week.’ I was desperate to capitalise on this time and keep myself on track, but to where I wasn’t so sure.
The ambitious declaration was met with relative indifference. ‘Mum’ said Lulu ‘can I dress up as Elsa while we do the list?’ Whatever journey I was about to embark on, my two little people were coming along for the ride. But what could we hope to achieve that would be mutually satisfying?
Two hours later, sitting on the floor with paper and pen. Teddy, mere days away from walking, pulled himself up with the help of the sideboard, pulling the chalk down with him. A sign from God? That’s probably a bit dramatic. But definitely a goal to add to our list – be more creative.
With Teddy crawling behind, we ventured out to the garden, chalk in hand to write our list. ‘What do we want to achieve this week Lulu?’ Lulu began listing her goals with intent, and I scrawled them onto the deck:
1. Do ballet for Nana and Papa (via video)
2. Be nice
3. Talk to Margaret (our elderly neighbour) over the fence and make new friends
4. Watch Rescue Riders
5. Smile and be happy
I had clocked up to number five and Lulu’s list had stopped me in my tracks. She wasn’t formulating a checklist of tangible tasks like I had done. She was designing a list of activities and experiences that would bring her and others happiness.
As adults we teach our children that being kind is important but often forget to walk the talk ourselves. But maybe that is the greatest opportunity during this whole episode of isolation. Because we know that using our time to help others actually makes us happier than spending that time on ourselves. I had forgotten that in my quest to spend my time wisely and was humbled that Lulu had instinctively prioritised chasing happiness.
Number two, three and five were definitely goals we could achieve together. But how?
Our family has always felt it a great privilege to live in Bondi. Early on in the 2020 pandemic crisis it was clear that our local community was under immense scrutiny and pressure to pull back immediately from our way of life. Our beachside village, renowned for its laid back, sun on your skin and salt in your hair attitude was being forced (for good reason) to retreat from each other. With one of the densest population postcodes in Australia, there’s no doubt this has taken its toll on Bondi, it’s eclectic energy and of course this energy’s source - its people.
So how would the folks around us find an outlet for the release of energy and emotion that they were used to expressing at our beach, parks and markets. Positivity is infectious and my instinct was that if our collective thoughts were positive, this could fast track our family goal of being nice, making friends and ultimately increasing happiness. The hope was that kindness could sustain a once effortless connection and bridge the loss of physical togetherness.
So we prepared a colourful sign ‘ Write a note, keep the chalk’. We repurposed our Easter Egg hunt basket and filled it to the brim with a rainbow of chalk. Out we marched to the front of our house, Teddy still clumsily straggling behind, and the experiment began. The goal: encouraging those walking by to take the time and write something for everyone to see. A momentary window into your thoughts with no purpose or mandate. Just self-expression. Would people find the time to leave a note? And if they did what was on their mind? Would the chalk be respected and the activity honoured?
The next morning we rushed out for an update. Only one lonely peace sign in sherbet orange. Promising but hardly a significant data point to analyse. It was a slow start, and in the next 24 hours only two more notes.
But now, after thirty eager family site visits each brimming with anticipation, four packets of chalk and eight days - the gift of kindness, community and time has travelled further than Lulu and I could have predicted.
Over fifty comments, proving the theory that kindness breeds kindness and the simple truth that to be abundant in happiness you have to take your time and spend it doing something for someone else; like sharing a nugget or two of wisdom:
*Be Kind
*Enjoy the small things
*Be nice to each other
*Believe in dreams
*Kindness. Give yourself the love you give others
*Smile at a stranger
*Count your blessings
*Hang in there
*Love your neighbour
*Chin up everyone
It turns out that our community has the time and has chosen to celebrate it by expressing simple, heart-warming and optimistic messages of love, gratitude and encouragement. Once we created a space for kindness, we gave it time, and learnt that if we want to be happier, the fastest track to get there is to do something for someone else. This small idea has had a big impact – it has propelled me to spend my time like it’s going out of style; lavishly and generously. Because the most valuable investment we can make with our time is an investment in kindness, and ultimately the return will be our happiness.
It’s unclear how many people have read these messages as they walked by and how they have been affected. But we have read every single one many times over, as has our elderly neighbour Margaret who hasn’t been past her driveway in months. We agree, that with a combined total of over 100 years on the planet, we are still astounded by the power of words and the potential kindness behind them.
Yesterday I woke up to find an anonymous overnight passer-by had scrawled some advice in apple green chalk ‘you should plant basil here’ with an arrow right up to the kerbside patch of grass. Yes, I smiled to myself - tutto in tempo utile – all in good time.
