5 Life Lessons I Learned Being A Single Mother

“Strong women don’t play victim, don’t make themselves look pitiful, and don’t point fingers.
They stand, and they deal.”
-Mandy Hale

Being a woman and a single parent is not easy. In the US, more than 80% of single parents are moms. 

Despite this huge percentage, women are shamed every day when their limited capacities don’t match up to the ideal. I am here to encourage all those moms facing Mom-xiety because they are single and have no one. 

I want to tell you guys that I was very unconfident a few years ago. But now, I am a confident single mom because I have learned some great life lessons the hard way. I have managed my fears and anxiety, and now this is your turn. 

If you are a single mom like me and finding ways to increase happiness, then this post is for you. There are a lot of things that I couldn’t understand until my life took a turn, and I realized that nothing lasts forever, not even marriage. The only thing that is pure and remains forever is a mother’s love for her children.

Five life lessons single parenting taught me 

These are the five important life lessons that I learned too late, but you should learn them today. 

Learn To Say ‘No’

To prove your worth, you don’t have to be a ‘Yes mom’ 24/7. Before you make any commitments to your relatives to look after their pet or if your boss asks you to sit for extra office hours without any compensation, ask yourself if it is logical for you to take extra responsibilities.

I learned that if I become a ‘Yes’ machine for people around me, including my kids, then they’ll increase their expectations from me and take me for granted. 

Saying ‘No’ occasionally is important sometimes because a small ‘No’ can lift the pressure from you. 

The beauty of living a life with ZERO regrets

I learned that it’s OK to screw up, but it’s not OK to live a regretful life. My goal: be angry, hurt, or anxious, but not forever. The past has gone, but it’s just in your head. We cannot change it. We are humans and not God. I didn’t know that things will go this way, but I’ll never let that failure and mistakes control my life and dreams. 

Take comfort in knowing that good days can start with a clean slate. If you keep thinking about the past, you’ll never be able to direct your energy to a new path. Start giving attention to the right things and the right people in your life. 

Taking timeout is important

This year, I realized that taking short breaks to refuel and recharge is very important. It’s my right. So I started practicing self-care. It simply means doing things deliberately (or stopping ourselves from doing certain things) with our well-being in mind. 

A little self-care and short breaks prevent burnout, alleviate stress levels, and motivates us to do better. Self-care isn’t fancy a thing. Trying out a new recipe you saved from YouTube, watching a Netflix series, or saying yes to something you really like to do is also self-care. 

Accepting support from others

Accept your responsibility, but also help from your supporters. It’s OK to ask for help sometimes, especially if you a single mother and studying at the same time. A lot of times, I suffered and struggled because I wanted to do it alone. To be more precise I was pretending that I am strong. 

I learned that asking for help doesn’t make you weak. You need people who you can trust in difficult times. Relying on others sometimes makes you stronger. You get a support system, and this is not just for single moms; this is for everyone. 

People will judge no matter what

A very important lesson that I learned is that I’ll never grow if I keep worrying about what other people think of me.

Stop worrying about being judged by this judgmental world. Instead, learn to navigate through faultfinding people. Block them, unfriend them, don’t make plans with them. Distance yourself from anyone that blasts you with destructive thoughts and drains out your energy. 

You have to accept that you cannot satisfy everyone with your limited capacity. If you really think that you need to satisfy some, you are that person. 

The motherhood experience is indeed beautiful, but I cannot deny the fact that it is tough for single mums. 

Samantha Kaylee is presently working as an Assistant Editor at Crowd Writer, an essay editing service for busy students and scholars. She is a single mother of two beautiful children. If you’re looking for some best and honest mum tips, she is the person you should talk to.