Agnes Bloom's Home Birth by Amanda Kelly

After my son was born a little over 2 years ago, I wrote it all down. It helped me sort things out, process and relive those 26 hours I was in labor with him. With Agnes’s birth though writing doesn’t seem to help me sort out anything. It makes everything seem crazier than it actually was. I feel terrible at writing her story because I’m trying to think back to where exactly my birth story begins with her. It happened so quickly, so beautifully, so unexpectedly in the best way possible in the comfort of our home as intended. It was something outside of a movie. The time she spent in my belly however was not so poetic. In fact, many parts were dim and shook my confidence as a mom and birth person. But what I love so much about pregnancy and birth is the spectrum of emotions you’re capable of feeling in a relatively short period of time. There are the empowering highs and the hazy euphoric scared to death moments in between. I kept telling myself through it all that it’s okay to be scared. It means you’re about to do something really brave!

On June 1, 2021, me, my husband and son returned home from a little getaway. I remember feeling off with a strange appetite and waves of extreme fatigue. I took a pregnancy test as soon as we walked in the door and sure enough… POSITIVE! I was in shock at this sweet unexpected surprise. I had never gotten a period and was still breastfeeding Bjorn so I must have gotten pregnant the first time I ovulated. Wild, I know! A week later I had an ultrasound to see how many weeks I was. Instead of confirming the gestation, I was told my right ovary was concerningly large. That evening my ovary ruptured leading to internal bleeding. I went in for emergency surgery to most importantly save myself, but also my baby. At this point, I had already lost all hope. It was one of the most emotionally traumatic 12 hours I've ever been through. I had to face the reality that my baby may not make it through the surgery and even if she did, what the impact the anesthesia and recovery would have on her growth and development. The OB who performed the surgery told me she would do everything in her power to save the pregnancy. And she did! She's one of my angels. I’m forever grateful to her and her team. I was 6 weeks pregnant when I had my surgery. In order to help sustain my pregnancy, I had to take supplemental progesterone through week 12 of my pregnancy. I vividly remember my post op appointment and seeing my baby for the first time. Her shape, her fluttering heart, I took the biggest breath I ever took in my life. Up until that day I was taking pregnancy tests every day for reassurance. It's what I needed to do for me and my sanity. Fast forward to September (prenatal month 5). My family and I came down with Covid. “What’s next?” Is all I kept thinking and I didn’t think there was anyway our little lady would survive another ordeal. Our anatomy scan though just after we came out of quarantine was another one of those deep breath moments. I was nervous, anticipating bad news BUT she was thriving! As the weeks progressed my pregnancy got easier, my heavy emotions started to lift. I was able to fully enjoy my third trimester and all the celebrations that filled it - my Blessingway, Christmas, New Year and my son's 2nd birthday!

What surprised you about your birth? She came fast!! Too fast for anyone to arrive for her delivery except for my doula, Brooke. My water broke at 4 a.m. Labor was pretty slow with spaced out manageable very mild contractions until about 11:45 a.m. where things picked up and she was earthside at 12:58 p.m. I was not expecting that quick of a birth given my first birth was 26 hours and very intense.


What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth? Probably yoga, acupuncture and chiropractic care helped me the most. While pregnant, I was simultaneously doing my hours for prenatal yoga teacher training. I'm really mindful about taking my daily supplements to support my gut health, prenatal vitamins, red raspberry leaf tea and simply tuning into what my body needs & wants. Part of doing the right thing for your baby should be taking care of yourself! My husband and I constantly checked in with one another. Our communication style had to pivot in order to support one another through this pregnancy.


There is early labor, active labor, transition and pushing. My early labor was very manageable. I believe I was in early labor the two days leading up to Agnes’s birth, that Friday and Saturday. I felt quite crampy, dull low back pain and my hunger was uncontrollable. It was as if I was about to get my period but was able to carry out day-to-day activities and keep up with my son. Active labor… It began around 4 a.m. on Sunday morning when I woke with a stir and noticed I was laying in a puddle. My water broke! Come to think of it, I don’t know what actually woke me because I didn’t feel wet or uncomfortable. I was having a great sleep for being 37.5wk pregnant. I wouldn’t have been on such high alert in that moment but because I was diagnosed with GBS early on in my pregnancy, I messaged my midwife, Mac from Philadelphia Midwife Collective & my doula, Brooke immediately. Both told me to go back to bed and I did with ease. In the back of my mind though I knew that once my water broke things had to progress one way or another. This validation left me feeling anxious, nervous and in high anticipation of what was to come because I knew I was going to have a baby that day. Around 6:50 a.m., I texted Mac telling them mild contractions had started at the time my water broke. I remember a lot of vaginal fluid. Contractions were still coming on when resting but were very mild. I had strong labor shakes. Uncontrollable shivering and teeth chattering. That’s usually due to hormonal shifts, adrenaline response and temperature changes. One minute I was freezing then next minute sweating. My contractions on average were 3min 20sec apart lasting 45sec. I felt subtle aches and pains but I was laughing and upbeat. Like the feeling you get before you go on vacation. I helped my husband Matt prepare our bedroom for the birth. We ceremoniously set up our bedroom with candles, affirmation cards, crystals, the poems and letters from my blessingway, flannels, receiving blankets, an oil diffuser (in which I started diffusing Clary Sage), essential oils for labor & post birth, music and began inflating the birth tub. It was then when my husband and I realized that the day I went into labor was the day we had set aside to do a dry run of our home birth, set up the birth space, make sure all the tub parts worked, etc.

Around 7 a.m. Mac said they were gathering their supplies and heading over to get my IV started in order to administer the gbs antibiotics. I was diagnosed with group b strep very early on in my pregnancy. Should my water break before labor started (which happened) antibiotics are administered to prevent infection in the baby. Once your water breaks, the baby is exposed leading to a greater risk. I remember saying to Mac that my contractions weren’t nearly as strong or as painful as they were with my son Bjorn. They said that they can turn quickly with a second baby but regardless antibiotics needed to be started. Mac arrived around 9 am. It was comforting to see their face and also somewhat surreal. I had just seen them earlier that week for the first time since before the holidays for my 36 week prenatal home birth visit. Prior to that there had been a surge in covid cases during the month of January that affected my birth team so we played it safe. Literally the week my team was back and seeing patients, was the week Agnes was born!


Before Mac arrived, Matt and I were going back and forth about what we should do with Bjorn. Should we have my in-laws pick him up or keep him here? I wanted him to stay but my husband convinced me that the experience may be easier for me if he wasn't. I was a little nervous he would demand a lot of my attention as I was in labor which would ultimately slow things down. My in-laws wound up picking him up until things progressed.

When Mac arrived that Sunday, they unpacked their supplies and used the doppler to listen to babe’s heartbeat with a few contractions. Everything was happening so quickly that this was a beautiful moment of pause. After that, things unfolded quickly! It was time to start my IV. IV’s are not something I’m comfortable with. I’d rather go through labor honestly. This IV in particular was tricky. What took maybe 15 minutes seemed like an hour. My antibiotics were started by 9:30 am. Matt and I got their opinion on if and when we should call Danielle our videographer & Melissa our photographer to head over. Mac said to wait and we agreed because nothing grand was happening. Mac said they were going to come back at 2 p.m. to administer the next round but little did we know there wasn’t going to be time for that nor would I be seeing them until I was ready to deliver my placenta! Luckily and fortunately, Mac left all of their supplies here including oxygen for the baby should she need it. I remember seeing that bag specifically by the staircase and the reality of having a home birth. After Mac left, Matt and I went downstairs because I wanted to move around, eat and drink something. I was surprised I still had an appetite. Usually when you’re in labor that hunger goes away. I was repelled by any food during Bjorn’s labor and that was 26 hours long! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be in such a calm state through all of this the second time around! Matt and I were just happy and basking in excitement. Although I was a little nervous because literally no one was there yet from our birth team. Everyone was just on standby for when things picked up.

Nothing can really prepare you for birth in the end. I learned and leaned into the fact that it’s okay to feel all ranges of emotions during labor and delivery from overwhelm to fear to confidence. If you know how to control those feelings and regulate them versus repress them, you can actually experience and express them in a healthy and beneficial way. Throughout my labor with Agnes there was never a moment of fear, self doubt or panic.


Matt kept prepping the bedroom and made me tea while I munched on some pineapple thinking that may help to strengthen my contractions. I began to feel contractions pick up in intensity soon after going downstairs so was it the pineapple? I’ll never know. I remember moving through some contractions by the fire while Matt filmed me. Looking back, I’m so grateful for those short clips Matt captured of me laboring because it was really the only chance we had to get that footage . I was swaying, dancing and humming as the waves came in and out of my body. Perhaps I was unconsciously holding back because no one had arrived yet. I felt way more in control of my body and mind this time around. I felt excitement throughout the morning. I couldn't wait to meet my baby girl! We spoke to our doula around 10:30 a.m. and we joked about Matt and I going into the shower and having some play time, turning off the lights and losing some control. Instead of baby dancing to make a baby, we were going to baby dance to help support the birth of our baby, strengthen contractions and get that oxytocin flowing! What gets the baby in gets them out, they say folks! Hate to break it to you but it never got that far. There wasn’t time. Brooke said she’d see us around 2. She had a feeling that’s when things would start to progress. Around 11:30 our midwife’s assistant messaged me and said she would arrive at our house around 2 p.m. to administer the second round of gbs antibiotics. Still able to easily hold a conversation, I messaged her back and said “OK contractions are getting stronger but we’re fine here.” There was no rectal pressure to push. My contractions were still frontal and ending in my back. At that point some of them were taking me to my knees and stopping me in my tracks but I was riding out each one rather calmly. From that point on things picked up pretty quickly. It all went from a bit hazy to a bit crazy! Agnes there was nothing stopping you darling. Within an hour you were in my arms!

Transition… Between 11:50 a.m. and 12:58 p.m. I spent a lot of time laboring on the birth ball. I was doing hip circles in between contractions as my birth playlist played in the background. I had a really powerful moment that sparked me with energy & confidence. Jennifer Hudson’s “I’ve Got This” was playing “every single breath another step on my road.” My road that was leading to you little lady. As the contractions got stronger my reaction was to come up out of them, on to my toes and lean forward on to our bed. It was as if I was levitating. I moved through a few holding tightly onto Matt’s arms. There was one contraction I remember standing with him and dancing through. It was so strong that it brought me up onto my toes and I fiercely leaned into him looking into his eyes. The look exchanged was euphoric. Nothing needed to be said after that. I knew I’d be okay. From what I remember I really only had about 5 strong intense contractions. I moved through two of my biggest ones on our bathroom floor on all fours. I wedged myself in the corner of the room because in true Amanda birth style, I don’t like large spaces when I'm in labor. They overwhelm me which was another reason I wanted a home birth this time. You have the choice of birth space, position, etc.

At this point I was quite restless so I was switching labor positions with each contraction. Fully immersed in intense labor at this point, Matt was handling all the communication with our midwife who was on their way. So was our videographer. I was not aware of anyone's ETA nor did I really care which is so not like me. Nothing was going as expected. Our doula was the closest. I don’t remember exactly when she arrived but it was within 10 minutes before Agnes was born. Here is where things got a little frantic. I’m terrible at recalling all the details.

Pushing… I remember our doula coming into our bedroom during a strong contraction as I was sitting on our bed. I looked at her like a deer in headlights. I wanted to get up but she told me to sink down with the contraction instead of escaping it. I did and my hand instinctively went down toward my cervix. Brooke later kept mentioning that pivotal moment. That moment in labor when things shift. It was like Agnes knew Brooke was there with us. After that strong and memorable contraction, I got up and saw some blood. Mucus plug I think. I quickly wanted to move through my next contraction on the toilet and sure enough that is when transition happened. The toilet is notorious for opening up the cervix but it can be quite painful and aggressive. The contractions became pushes before I could sit down. They were guttural, primal and very vocal. During the first push I went to feel for her head because that was the sensation I was feeling. The next push I was standing leaning onto our vanity screaming because I’m just a loud vocal birth person. Both my doula and Matt thought she would be born right there. Our doula was shouting orders at Matt specifically for blankets. Sooooo not her style or demeanor but I think that’s when she realized “oh shit” she’d be delivering this baby. I remember screaming through that push. It was so loud that I later found out it sparked some tearful emotions in my mom who was waiting downstairs. It was the toughest part of my labor but lasted only seconds. I so badly wanted to birth my baby in the water. I somehow got myself to the birth tub. That part is very blurry to me. The tub was only a quarter of the way full because Matt hadn’t finished filling it. We thought we had all the time in the world! The warm water felt wonderful! My body just sank down into itself. All of a sudden the urge to push stopped though. Brooke told me to put one leg up. As I leaned over the side of the tub in that lunge I pushed my hardest push and she was born!


When I turned around to hold her I remember seeing one of my closest friends and our photographer, Melissa. She was the second one to arrive from our birth team. Matt was embracing me from the back, kissing my forehead looking down on our daughter in awe of what just happened. The touch of his lips kept me present because I felt like I was floating away in a dream. I remember immediately calling out for my mom. I wanted her to witness the birth but it just happened so quick, too quick for her to even get up the stairs. But she came moments after Agnes was born.


I remember saying “hi” to Agnes and holding her so close to me that she felt like she was permeating my body. We were one. Two tired but incredibly strong, wet bodies alive and well and totally in love! I could have stayed in the birth tub for hours. The warmth of our bodies in the water felt so good but I knew my placenta had to be birthed in bed. My doula and husband helped me to our bed with Agnes’s umbilical cord intact. Once I got into bed I remember my midwife arriving. From there I birthed my placenta which to be honest was the most painful part. Those post birth contractions were more painful than the labor I just had. They continued through the next couple of days as my milk came in and Agnes nursed. I remember Bjorn’s little feet coming up the stairs, his open mouth smile of surprise, his sweet kisses on me and Agnes, his energy just lighting up our bedroom with even more joy. It was our moment and we took it all in together!


Bjorn cut the cord, my midwife and doula drew me a shower while Matt snuggled with Agnes, tucked us into bed, fed us, cleaned up, did laundry, mingled with our family and photographers. It was literally perfect!


Peacefully, powerfully, fearlessly and quickly we did it my love ~ 1.23.22 ~ born at 12:58 p.m. ~ 7lb 11oz ~ 20in long. Agnes is my dream baby and I thank god/universe/source for bringing her in. And did she ever! Matt and I knew we would have an Agnes and so she was manifested. Our faith in each other as parents, lovers and partners in this life sparked her essence. Her addition in our lives has brought indescribable happiness and we recognize that we are blessed beyond belief! Motherhood can make you feel like the strongest person in the world yet also the most fragile and weakest person. It’s okay to feel both. I’ve completely surrendered to it. I believe you have to in order to fully experience it.



I'm an old soul at heart. I married my middle school boyfriend. My soul was lucky enough to find its counterpart in him. We live in Pennsylvania with our two dream babes Bjorn & Agnes, chocolate lab Hank & cats Luna & Rosie. I’m a full time mama, a yogi, and a reiki master. I'm passionate about all things birth & curious to see where that spark takes me in this life. I create sacred space to mother myself because to feel your most vibrant self is for my family to feel theirs. Fall in LOVE with taking care of you & your earthlings

My website below is an all-encompassing space discussing the beauty and complexity of pregnancy and parenthood, yoga, reiki & the healing arts & recipes for self-nourishment. Together, they form my SADHANA. I want to guide & inspire other souls to create their own SADHANA or spiritual practice. The belief that you cultivate within yourself, will inherently shift your biology encouraging the body to heal.

Birth Video: filmed by Sonderbird
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Instagram: @amanda_jclyn_kelly & @soulful.sadhana