Birth Stories by Sorrel

My first was a December baby and I was determined to have a home birth in water under the Christmas lights! Because he was my first, everyone called me crazy and insisted that I’d be running for that epidural as soon as labour kicked in! It sounds nuts but even though I’d never given birth, I kind of knew that it was going to be magical and peaceful! Anyway, my waters ended up trickling just before my midwife appointment at 39+4. Contractions started very very lightly while I was in there and she was able to confirm it was my waters and told me to just go home and chill. We went shopping for snacks which was such a bizarre feeling as nobody knew I was in labour haha!

We got home and my partner started setting up the birth pool while I got in the bath upstairs (I really felt called to the water) my contractions ramped up a bit and I started to get a little panicky with the pain and suddenly doubted my ability to do this as I knew it was only going to get more intense! I got out of the bath and knelt down next to my bed and leant forwards gently rocking my hips. I focused on my breathing and what happened next was a miracle and exactly what I had believed was possible….the pain was suddenly not there!! It felt like I’d left my body and connected with Mother Nature herself! I went into almost a hypnotic state where all that mattered was my breath and positive energy and nothing in the world could have stressed me out in that moment! I knew my baby was fine and doing all the right things…I can’t explain how I knew, I just did!!

I got into the birth pool and it was pure bliss!!! My partner eventually called the midwife and they told me to get out of the pool until they arrived as they needed to check the water temperature and they couldn’t risk me birthing in there without doing that. I did as I was told but wish I had had the strength to say no, as my partner had triple checked the water temperature and it was where I was comfortable! I tell you what, climbing out of an inflatable paddling pool with a skull in your pelvis is not easy or comfortable! I feel this stalled my labour a little but things soon got going again. Shortly after, to my horror and hilarity I started pooping on the floor with every surge and my partner scooped it up like the absolute hero he is (I know this is something that genuinely petrifies many people but I figure if we start just talking about it rather than pretending it doesn’t happen we’ll all hopefully get over it!) The midwives arrived not long before baby started crowning. They were very respectful of the fact that I had everything under control and made every effort not to break my zen! They said it was like stepping into a grotto! All lights off, fairy lights and Christmas decorations everywhere and complete silence besides my breathing and some twinkly Christmas music.

The midwife asked me if I wanted any vaginal checks and I declined which she was totally fine with. Once I was back in the water she asked me to feel between my legs to see if I could feel anything and I felt his head crowning like a soft fuzzy little peach!! I couldn’t believe it and at this point I was so excited to push him out that I feel I maybe rushed it and didn’t listen to my body fully. I ended up tearing when his head came out but it was a split second of pain and then pure bliss! I lifted him from the water and he was just as calm as the whole experience had been up til then! He gazed into my eyes looking a bit perplexed but didn’t cry. He was like an old wise soul from the very start! He took to breastfeeding like a pro and I was able to get stitched up on my sofa with a cup of tea in my hand haha!

My second birth was an absolute whirlwind and I really can’t write as much about it because it only lasted 2 hours all in haha!! It was the 22nd March 2020 the day before the UK went into lockdown so everything was up in the air and I’d been told I may not be “allowed” a home birth (I increasingly have a real issue with the term “allowed” when referring to how a woman chooses to birth her baby! It is always her choice, even if it’s not the most convenient option for anybody else). I woke up at 5.30am with quite intense contractions so I had a bath and then woke my partner to say “I think we’re having a baby today”. I was able to tap into that magic breathing immediately with my second and never felt engulfed by the contractions.

I assumed it would take a reasonably long time again so I told my partner to hold off calling the midwife (I prefer not to have anyone around me while I labour). But then very quickly it became clear that contractions were coming thick and fast! So he called and they told him that nobody was available so we needed to come to the hospital. My partner relayed this to me trying to hurry me to get dressed. I stayed in my happy bubble and declined. I knew that I’d be birthing in the car if I went, and that could have led to distress and complications. I knew the best place for me was at home, supported or not. He called them back and they said that if I needed to push he should call an ambulance. I had already transitioned into that deep uncontrollable ‘push’ breathing and had already done the obligatory poo on the floor so my partner was starting to freak out that we had nobody with us! I told him to call an ambulance if it made him feel better but that I had everything under control and wasn’t worried in the slightest. He went downstairs and called them at which point my waters gushed and the head crowned. I shouted down to him that he was going to miss it if he didn’t come right now and as he turned the corner into the room I scooped up our little girl into my arms. She was exactly the same as her brother, eyes open and oddly focused but very very calm! My partner said “oh my god there’s a baby” and couldn’t believe how quickly it had all happened. The emergency services on the phone wanted to know that everything was fine and to be honest I found the questions really annoying! It’s like they wanted to have constant chat to ensure that everyone was ok which I do appreciate. This was our moment and everything was absolutely perfect! I just wanted to soak it up!! It was probably another 20-30 minutes before a midwife arrived but we just spent that time enjoying cuddles and introducing our little boy who had slept through it all! Once the placenta finally detached (took an hour for both of my births) we got a really fascinating biology lesson from the midwife about the placenta and all the different sections! Such a beautiful and underrated organ, grown from scratch in just a few months!!! Women’s bodies are absolutely friggin incredible!!

For anyone nervous about giving birth, please try to trust your body unconditionally! This doesn’t just go for home births or low risk physiological births. Even if something is wrong I believe that we can know before the ‘experts’ if we listen in! We are the real experts. It’s our body and our baby who is tuned into our wavelength on a level we don’t even fully understand! You are an absolute goddess and you’ve got this!!

Sorrel is a mum of 2 and business owner from Somerset, England. Her interest in childbirth began very early in her life but soon developed into a passion after her first empowering birth experience. She believes that the narrative around birth needs changing, but that this can only happen when we start having more open and honest conversations about it.