Birth Story by Kelsey Carlson
My contractions started Wednesday night (5/31) going into Thursday. I took the day off walking around the house and yard to see if they would speed up, but also not wanting them to go too fast as my husband, Cody, was at work. At 9pm Thursday they seemed closer together but it was random at times, as new parents we didn’t really know when we should go, so we drove to Rochester. They checked and I was 3cm dilated, and Theo had rolled to being sunny side up. (Causes back labor and longer birth). They told us it could be into Friday morning or midday before I was dilated enough to be admitted, so we chose to sleep at home.
We got home at 1am and went to bed.
I woke at 1:30am with my back hurting, but I didn’t know what it was. I went to the bathroom thinking maybe that would help, then tried to sleep again, but I kept tossing and turning waking up with my back feeling like it was going to split in half. I looked up back labor and saw that a hot bath could help, so I climbed in the tub and wrapped a towel around me to keep warm (giant 9month belly doesn’t fit under the water). I stayed in there until I couldn’t focus through the pain. Everything hurt. Wave after wave, it was too close together for me to take a break. After getting out I tried to go to the bathroom again and had a bunch of liquid come out, but it didn’t feel like pee, I checked inside myself and everything felt different.
(3am)I crawled into the bedroom after putting pajamas back on and told Cody we had to leave now. I had to repeat myself a few times, then he got up and slowly got dressed. Clearly annoyed thinking it still wasn’t time. Everytime I had a contraction I’d bend over and groan in pain, my back was throbbing. We finally got in the car and the whole way I was gripping the handle and turning in the chair trying to find a more comfortable position but knowing the only way was out of that chair. Cody started speeding up halfway there.
He dropped me off at the door then went to park, while walking inside a contraction hit, and I turned grabbing the window arching my back and on my tiptoes groaning loudly. A worker was leaving and rushed to grab a wheelchair (this was 4am) I crouched on the wheelchair backwards not wanting to sit and the lady that works the door took over and wheeled me to the elevators.
On the baby wing a nurse came to the door and said she wouldn’t let me be in the wheelchair like that so I had to walk or sit. I refused to sit, so I walked slowly inbetween contractions. She was someone that was there when we came the first time, so she seemed like she didn’t believe I was far enough along to be there. She said I had to lay down so she could check me, that sounded miserable. I didn’t want to lay on my back because it hurt so bad. Every time I had a contraction I just kept asking everyone to help me, I just wanted the pain to stop, I was exhausted already. I wanted them to just do a c-section, so my back pain would stop. Cody was standing near the wall watching. The nurse finally checked me and said I was 6cm and my water was broken.
They quickly moved me to the other side with different nurses, where they told me I couldn’t have a c-section but they’d give me an epidural. (I didn’t want an epidural in my plan. I wanted to do it natural, I wanted a water birth, I listened to all the podcasts, I read the books. In the end it hurt so bad and I didn’t feel like anyone was going to help me through the pain, I decided to do the epidural even though I didn’t like the idea of it.) The contractions were happening nonstop it felt like. The new nurse showed Cody how to do counter pressure but after each one he would go step away again. Eventually, I said “if I have to tell you to get over here one more time I’m going to lose my shit” the nurse would hold my hands and talk to me through each new wave. We were waiting on the epidural for maybe 10minutes. As they wheeled in I had a bunch of strong ones that made me feel like I wanted to push,I told them I was going to push, and they said okay. I was bleeding all over the floor. They asked if I wanted checked before the epidural, but I didn’t want to lay down again.
They said I had to sit and be still for the epidural which was terrifying because they were so close together and it hurt so bad. I sat and my nurse had me hold onto her, I can’t believe I was able to stay still, but I was also terrified of the epidural. He started at the end of one contraction, but I had to sit still through two while he was working.
My butt and legs got tingly, and my back pain went away immediately. It was such a relief, I was a little confused that everything else still seemed normal, but ultimately I only cared that my back didn’t hurt. They checked me and said I was at 10cm and ready to push.
I pushed for over 3 hours, but the baby wasn’t progressing. I tried crouching, sideways, and on fours. They said I shouldn’t have been able to move my legs because of the epidural, but it was just making my butt cheeks tingle.
After 3.5 hours they called in a different doctor and asked if I wanted a vacuum or forceps to intervene. I didn’t want either. They had him watch me push through a contraction and they decided they were intervening with forceps. He asked if I wanted to be pre-cut or risk tearing all the way.
I looked at my nurses because I was terrified. One told me to risk it, so I did.
The giant tools were sitting on the table behind him and they went to put them in. I could feel it pinching and so much pressure. I had a contraction and it wasn’t ready yet so the dr shoved his fingers in pushing down and told me to push his hand out. The extra pressure hurt and I pushed but it didn’t work. They finished inserting the forceps, and he said “the next contraction you push and I’ll pull” the next second he pulled and I arched my back and screamed. It hurt so bad I couldn’t function it was nothing compared to back pain. It felt like I was being ripped in half my pee hole was on fire. I screamed I can’t do it. Cody, the nurses, and doctors kept telling me I could (Cody said by that point Theo’s head was out. But all I felt was burning everywhere.) the next contraction happened, he pulled again, and I was screaming. Someone told me to stop screaming, but I felt like I was dying and couldn’t stop. The baby came out and they put him on me for a second, I felt his head but wasn’t able to see him before they took him back. He wasn’t responding. My whole body was shaking, and I was crying uncontrollably. Cody was standing with me they told him to go see the baby, but he said there was so much blood coming out of me he didn’t want to leave me yet. (He said he kept having dreams before of me dying during childbirth). We heard Theo cry so we knew he was alive.
They said I tore but it was only two areas. One needed two stitches the next only needed one. They wanted me to just see if the epidural covered the pain of stitching then do a local if I could feel it. I told them no, do the local first. I don’t want to see if it works for that.
Cody went to the baby and was able to cut the chord. He spent 39minutes on cpap they said if he was on it for an hour he would have to go to the NICU. Cody told them to take it off and see what happens because he didn’t want him in the NICU, when they took it off he started breathing on his own. They weighed and measured him and eventually brought him to me.
My body hurt, but I was so excited to have him in my arms and finally get to see the tiny human that grew inside me. He was perfect, even if my delivery didn’t go anywhere near how I had planned. No water birth, not natural, I didn’t get to rub everything into his skin, but that’s okay. He is worth all of it, he’s our everything.
Kelsey grew up in Iowa before venturing to Houston, Texas for college where she earned a Masters of Science in Biology specializing in Ecology, Microbiology, Aquatic and Marine biology. She was soon swept off her feet by a man in Minnesota who flew across the country for Valentine’s Day, mailed hand written letters, and drove 1128miles multiple times. She’s now in Minnesota with her husband, German Shepherd, and the light of their life, Theodore. Her hobbies include reading (everything book related really), yoga, crafting coffee mugs, and adventures with her little family. Instagram is @kpknupp