Birth Story: Prairie Moon

As the final weeks of my pregnancy rolled by I had a niggling sense that this little wonder wanted to arrive earth side sooner rather than later. I had been having quite steady Braxton Hicks in the lead-up to the birth and at the last few meet-ups with my midwife Julie she said that bubs was feeling very low, positioning herself in preparation for her departure. I had spent the last 2 months of my pregnancy prepping my body to help give it a natural push to move things along, so it was validating to know that my efforts were working (jogging on the trampoline, hiking, squatting, evening primrose oil, red raspberry leaf tea, sex etc) I was told in my third trimester that this little one would need to be born before my guess date due (See side note for reasons why)

With this birth we had opted for a home birth albeit given our Adelaide Hills dwelling was just a little too far from the hospital for us to qualify to birth at home through the hospital midwifery program, we decided to book an Air BnB closer to the hospital. Mark, myself, and the kids moved into our beautiful little home away from home for the next couple of weeks. At this stage the goal was to aim for a home birth however if I needed any form of intervention like an induction I would be birthing at the hospital.

Once I hit 37 + 5 weeks we got settled into the new abode. We brought little pieces of our own home with us and got aquatinted with the space. Mark and I ceremoniously set up the homebirth space; candles, fairy lights, incense, flannels at the ready, receiving blankets, a diffuser, speakers, affirmation cards, coconut waters. We listened to music and worked in tandem along with the children to reclaim the space and make it ours for this transformative time in our lives. It was a truly beautiful experience.

A few days later I felt it was time to get focused and to attune to my body. I talked to bubba and really switched gears into prepping my body physically and mentally for birth. I tried sleeping as best as I could, took daily baths, had some chiropractic work done, went to acupuncture appointments 3x a week and after the school runs we would take long beach walks with our dogs dreaming of all that was about to unfold.

At 38 + 5 I had a stretch and sweep and it was at this appointment that Julie said it’s looking like all systems go. That evening I snuggled into bed with Mark giddy with excitement as I knew things were moving along and our little one would be joining our family so soon. That night pregsomnia hit hard and I ended up pulling myself out of bed around 2am and settling into the bath which is so often a little sanctuary for me. I shifted positions in there while listening to one of my birth podcasts and felt a light pop. I got up out of the water and couldn’t tell if it was bath water or amniotic fluid running down my leg so I dried off and exuberantly woke Mark up to tell him that I thought my water might have broken. It wasn’t a gush like previous times but a trickle so I figured I had just “sprung a leak”! I put a pad on and tried to get some rest, pretty unsuccessfully mind you. The emotions were high - I was both exhilarated and focused with waves of nervousness hitting me which certainly didn’t lend itself to quietening my mind and drifting off into much needed sleep but I think I eventually got some shut-eye around 6am.

I woke up about 8am and texted Julie that I thought my water had broken, she asked me to come in so she could confirm. We got the kids all organised and they stayed at home with my mum, we figured that today was THE day and that we wouldn’t be able to do school pick ups. Mark and I got to the hospital birth centre about 1pm and we ended up being brought into the room that Forest was born in which we thought was pretty special. As Julie checked me we were met with a loud POP! “Well!” she said, “it was definitely your waters!!”. After all having a giggle, Julie got me sorted and cleaned up. She suggested we go home, have a big bite to eat and start walking the beach to help kickstart the contractions. I’d experienced PROM (premature rupture of membranes aka waters break before onset of labour) in my first birth so I somewhat knew what to expect and had a feeling that this experience could be a little more challenging than my previous two births. I knew that with PROM and due to hubby’s positioning, I’d have to work harder to keep the contractions consistent, I was also aware that oftentimes PROM can happen when baby isn’t in an optimal birthing position. I had been told the whole pregnancy that she was posterior which wasn’t a surprise since my babies just fancy the posterior position in utero, but this time around I was so focused on moving things along to avoid induction that I had failed to dip into my toolbox of ways to turn a posterior baby anterior (which I had successfully done the previous 2 times). So to avoid getting in my own way I freed myself from the past two experiences and embraced that this birth would have its own unique voice.

We hit the beach in the afternoon, I was watching my Apple watch and timing any little contractions that popped up. We scarfed down Lord Of The Fries and then made it a mission to walk the beach to encourage the waves to begin. After about an hour I had had a few 12 minutes apart, then 6 minutes and then 20 minutes apart etc but all without a pattern. Mark suggested we find some stairs to hike up which we did 50 times until there was more consistency to the contractions. At this stage they had a bite to them but I didn’t need to breathe through any of them yet. Eventually, around 5:30 we rolled home. At this stage I was feeling slightly disheartened that things weren’t revving up, I kept gently steering my mind away from “but in the last birth…”. I gave the kids a bath and we all talked about how they’d most likely meet their little sister tomorrow. I tucked the kids into bed and knew I’d be in for another sleepless night. By 10pm things had pretty much petered out and I tried to get back into bed knowing that the risk of infection for my baby being out of the waters so long would start to increase the following day and that I’d be “on the clock”. At this stage I was absolutely running on adrenaline, I had barely slept the night before and the stop/start nature of the rushes were starting to feel cruel. I cried to Mark about it, we took some deep breaths together and I realised I was just feeling overwhelmed, excited, and just so ready. I jumped on Google at this stage (as you do!) and found myself on Spinning Babies. It described my labour experience thus far to a T, I honed in on one paragraph in particular- which linked posterior positioning of a baby with stalled and unpatterned labour. I already was equipped with this knowledge due to experiencing this with Bodhi’s labour. I knew what it meant and just gave over to the uncertainty. It helped me get out of my head and back into my body, open and embracing to what was to come. At this stage the contractions definitely were noticeable though irregular. By 11pm I decided to run myself a bath. It felt soothing being in the water and I knew that things would surely pick up soon.

At midnight I decided to try and get some rest but the rushes kept me awake, so I sat on the birth ball and just did figure 8s, listened to music and hummed my way through them, by 2am there was a real consistency to the rushes and they felt very strong FAST. Mark was keeping the team updated while I hopped in the shower with the birth ball and rocked out vocalising. At this point Julie said she was heading over after hearing me in the background during a check-in phone call with Mark. She arrived about 2:30am followed by one of my besties Kat who was acting as my doula. My other besties Cass and Stu arrived soon after, they were there to film, photograph, be with the kids (who were asleep!) and just be standby helpers. By the time the team had all landed, I was really roaring through the intensity, it took me by surprise how ON it was. I kept telling Mark how much stronger it felt than I remembered. He was so wonderful about bringing me back to the present. I tried to face each one individually, the strength of them felt really powerful and I remember thinking how incredibly wild birth is. I vaguely remember having chats with my friends between rushes but the moment they hit I needed to give them my full attention. I remember giggling at seeing Stu’s face- being his first birth experience he looked rather ashen when he first walked in but just having his presence there as well as the others made me feel so held. He quietly set up his camera gear and started shooting away without me even realising he was around, that takes a particular skill and the moments he captured, so raw and intimate, I’m forever grateful for the keepsakes.

The shower was really where I wanted to stay, I felt relief in the heat of the water pounding on my back. The waves were considerably different than I remembered, instead of the tightening through the front of my stomach my back was bearing the brunt of the sensation. I had a few moments of feeling fearful in the shower and intuitively Mark suggested we get out of the shower and try the birth ball just to switch things up.

Being out of the shower felt great and things definitely intensified, I felt I needed to get into the birth pool and ohhhh the sweet relief of feeling weightless, I loved bouncing on the inflatable bottom of the pool on my knees and then in a squat. Rocking between the two positions gave me something to focus on. By this stage my back felt so much pressure that Julie squeezed my hips in the perfect place and the counter-pressure was exactly what I needed. It was at this point that I felt I surely had to be close to transition, by now it was about 4:30am. I asked Julie to check me, she said I was about 7.5-8cm, I felt okay with that and knew that transition could sometimes only last minutes so I focused on the music and tried to lean into the gentler thoughts in my mind. Anytime I would start feeling like I wanted it to end or that it was too much I’d steer my thoughts back to my baby and to being present. I accepted sips of water in between contractions from Cassandra and the cold scented flannels that she would put on my forehead felt incredible. Kat was always with me telling me what a good job I was doing. Her and I have been best friends for almost 30 years now so just having her there and hearing her voice would give me these beautiful pick-me-up moments.

The back labour was really starting to head into a territory where I felt like the hip counter pressure was no longer enough to get me through. As you’ll see in my video I had Mark stick his fists in balls under the water right by the small of my back and I’d slam my back into them through the wave to help shift the sensation elsewhere. Around this point where exhaustion had hit an all-time high and I was battling to stay positive, I could vaguely hear what became one of the most poignant birthing songs for me - Kid Cudi’s Reborn lyrics “I’m so I’m so reborn, I’m moving forward, keep moving forward” those words reenergised me and brought me back to the place of surrender; you’re moving forward, just keep moving forward.

I was rolling and rocking and roaring (so much roaring!), smiling through contractions, humming and vocalising, I was needing to tap into every last little morsel of energy I had and went down the whole list of my “go-to” labour tools to get by. Finally, I was starting to feel like I was potentially in transition which was a relief as it felt like I’d been really working hard to bring her down. It was at this point that old mate fear voice popped its ugly head into my birthing vibes and I suddenly got nervous that perhaps the reason why it felt that I wasn’t progressing at the rate I wanted to was because maybe I had another cervical lip like I had in Poet's birth. I kept asking my friends in my little trembling voice “do you think I have a cervical lip?” I laugh about it now because how were any of them to know? Ha! But I’m glad I voiced my fear because Kat suggested I hop out of the birth pool and have Julie check to make sure I didn’t have a lip. With a quick check, she said you’re at 9.5cm and NO lip!!

The energy in the room shifted and everyone really upped their cheers, their positivity and kindness felt completely uplifting. I could feel up there to where my baby was and touch her, she was only a finger length away but it felt more like I was touching the bridge of her nose and not the back of her head which I expected, but ahh this explained why it had been feeling so hard to move her down, her chin wasn’t tucked to her chest and her face had been looking up- a face presentation. Julie knew she wasn’t in the optimal position and understood that I was feeling very tired after no sleep for 2 days, so she so lovingly held my hand and said in her sweet casual voice- “not much longer now, just roll your hips around and try squatting in the water to get her the rest of the way down- then you’ll be pushing!” So I got in the water tub and holding onto Mark we squatted together as I rocked and bared down to shift little girl past that extra half centimetre (you can see this moment in the video!) I imagined being a lion in the jungle with the most almighty roar, I didn’t even know I was capable of being that loud! But man it felt like such a wild release of energy, adrenaline, fear, blockages and helped me take things next level. In that transition I felt her actively correcting her position. I could see the look on Julie’s face change as she whispered to Cass “go and wake the children up”, I knew that meant it was time and I was filled with the most incredible feeling of enlivened energy! I absolutely could not believe the kids and my mum had slept through this entire event, I’ve never been a very loud birther but with this birth I had to draw on all those noises and ALL the strength I had and I still can’t fathom the voice that came from the depths of me. It felt brilliant.

The little pitter-patter of excited footsteps came running in the birthing room, my children with their sleepy heads and blinking eyes, their enthusiasm filled me with a tremendously emotional feeling, gifting me with yet another welcomed surge of energy. They all hugged me, stroked my arms, gave me sips of water and Poet gave me a high five. Forest sat on Kat's lap with his hands over his ears for my last few contractions! “You are loud mama!” Bodhi kept saying “mummy you got this! You are SO strong” and Poet was just wanting to be right by my side as my cheerleader! I knew our littlest was so close now, I was really enjoying all of these moments.

I had one more LOUD and hard - almost out of my body - wave and I finally said “her head is right here!!” Bodhi was cheering and clapping. I said “she’s almost here guys!” I looked at the clock on the wall and it was just about 6:30am. The sun was rising illuminating the room with the most divine hues.

This part is always my favourite in birth, I feel so productive and love the pushing process. So I got onto my hands and knees and started my breathing- Ujjayi breath (panting like a dog basically) this allowed her head to be brought slowly into my hand and for everything to stretch gently rather than too hard or fast which can increase the likelihood of tearing. I ALWAYS slow this part down after moving far too fast during my first birth and tearing. Now I give space to the process and use my breath to get the babies out. In between that breathing, I gave a few small little pushes and I felt her head come out. I breathed some more and then with another small push her body followed. I gently brought her from the water onto my chest and she screamed her little lungs out! I had done it OH MY GOODNESS sweet relief!! It was such an overwhelming experience with all the crazy birth high hormones, the utter exhaustion, elation and the thank fuck it’s over hahaha!

I brought her straight onto my chest and let the kids come over to touch her. The umbilical cord was short again (same with the last two) so I couldn’t get her too far up, but just enough to reach my chest. Mark was laughing and we kissed, I could see the relief on his face that we were both okay. I was then helped onto the couch where Julie could check on us both, bubs was pink and thriving and I guided her to latch on the breast as she was starting to root around already and this little baby had a suck! Her latch was the best of any of them so she happily guzzled away. I had no tears and just felt more alive, accomplished and elated than I ever had in my life, it was just a completely surreal experience, it felt like a trip!

Forest and Bodhi cut the umbilical cord and we all snuggled up on the couch lapping up the newness of our little baby who we had been anticipating for so long. Prairie Moon Palmer. She weighed a little 6lb 7oz and seemed sooo tiny to me (the others have been 8lb, 8lb 4 and 7lb 8oz) she had a head full of dark hair and these gorgeous little raspberry coloured plump lips. About an hour and a half later I birthed the placenta but ooof I did so reluctantly! I have never been more tired in my life I seriously couldn’t be bothered doing it, I didn’t think I had an ounce of energy left! I ended up passing bubba off to Kat and I sat on the blow up birth stool and with two pushes it was out.

My fourth birth experience really was a unique one, the wild nature of it rocked me and brought me right to the edge of what I thought was possible. It was reminiscent of my first birth with surprises and many pivots. The lack of sleep really impacted my mindset and physical energy but women are warriors and I drew upon some pretty powerful and loving energy in that room that day, August 17th 2021. Forever indebted to my beautiful birth team who so graciously shared those intimate 4 hrs with me each in their own way; Cass, Kat, Mark, Stu, my mum Paula, Bodhi, Forest and Poet and to the gorgeous Julie, the most wonderful midwife in all the land. Grateful. Grateful. Grateful. Prairie Moon Palmer how lucky you are to have been birthed into such a loving group.

SIDE NOTE; This was my second isoimmunisation pregnancy experience due to an Antigen that my husband carries called Duffy Fyb, essentially it means that my body creates antibodies which can attack the baby. More severe cases lead to in utero blood transfusions but luckily the Fyb antigen is rather mild and it just meant our little one was monitored more than usual, it did mean however that ideally bubs would be born before term so in order to avoid an induction I tried to prep my body to help give it a little nudge along.

Photography: @stuartlkerr
Birth pool: @birth_mother
Bathers: @bimbyandroy