Haisley's Birth Story by Xanthe

My birth story was insane at the time but looking back I think I had it easy compared to a lot of women I have spoken to. I gave birth 38+1 (JUST) so almost two weeks before Haisley's due date on the 6th March 2022. To give some background I had a couple of UTI's through the pregnancy but my trouble was I never had symptoms! So until the midwife checked my wee when I had a check up I would be none the wiser. So I had picked up a UTI which progressed to a kidney infection as I didn't notice symptoms. 26th Feb I had really nasty hip and back pain on my right side. I put it down to my SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction) but it got unbearable by the Sat night and I had a raging fever. I ended up in the hospital for a few days and didn't get released until 2nd March. Antibiotics did their job and I began my maternity leave early to try and take it easy. I was feeling better and relaxed and wanted to go into full-on nesting mode. Then low and behold two days later my birth story began to unfold...

I am still holding my bestie and fiance Brad accountable for her being early (joking!) Thursday 4th March my bestie was over for dinner and she was talking to my tummy saying..."come on baby girl we wanna see you before the weekend's out" and my fiance was the same saying "come on we can't wait to see you". I for one was saying nope come on give me some time to nest. My bestie goes home around 10pm..I go to the toilet before bed and then I got the bloody show !!! I was thinking....oh god. Every time I went to the loo I would lose more and more plug but no pain as yet. I slept well that night. The following morning Brad kisses me goodbye around 5am to go to work and I start to get mild period pains. Nothing significant but by mid-morning they start to get more intense yet irregular.

Hot water bottle seemed to be doing the trick until the evening and I was getting full on contractions. They were taking my breath away but still too irregular to call the midwife. We ordered a pizza ( with extra jalapeños to kick the contractions into high gear) and watched the Davinci code ( crazy how I remember the film we watched). This was the last food I ate before I met baby! My Mum and her partner were also round and they said we will be back Monday to meet the baby haha ( they lived two hours away normally but they were down to check on me bearing in mind I was only out of hospital 3 days!). 

That Friday night I got no sleep at all..just rested between contractions which were still only half hour apart. Sat morning rolls around and they are starting to get a smidge closer together so I have a bath which seemed to help. Around 10am I was starting to struggle so Brad calls the midwife- they say the contractions need to be 1-3 mins apart or 3 in 10 mins (they were still only 5-7 mins) so we were told to sit tight and call back when they're closer together.  By 1pm I was really starting to lose my cool so Brad calls them back again and they said to bring me in to check me over. ( the hospital was 40 mins away which is why we were a little concerned). That far journey was insane I was literally laid as flat as possible and mooing away . Finally got to the hospital. We went straight to the check up area ...took us 1 hour to be seen! Bearing in mind I had other mums around me looking on in fear as they were there for normal check ups and no one was in labour! Finally got seen and I was 4cm! The nurse said there are no beds yet so I need to go for a walk and get some food.

Walking and food was the last thing on my mind. I walked two seconds down the road and I had to lean on Brad. It was near enough impossible in the end I was like nah I can't do this. We went back into the check up area but this time sat in the corridor so I wasn't as self conscious as there were several other women there now. We are at about 6pm now approx...my contractions were 1 min apart and they were that intense that they brought tears to eyes. Trying to breathe the best I could through them. Brad then went to get a midwife as he was concerned about me and wanted to see if there was any pain relief I could have. This nurse comes back with a covid test !? As you guys know covid and giving birth is mental. We had already taken lateral tests at home which were negative but this nurse was like nah you gotta have a pcr done...Brad kicks off saying "where is the pain relief you promised her!" whilst she shoves the bud up my nose ! Contracting and a pcr test are not ideal haha! The nurse gets a midwife and she comes out to the corridor to see me- she was lovely and said come now there is a suite free. She didn't end up being my delivery midwife as she was on handover but our midwife who delivered our baby was gorgeous and so supportive.

We get in the room- immediately she says "here try this". I look and see its gas and air...I have some and my oh my immediate relief! I immediately started giggling haha and the intensity decreases massively. We darken the room, we have a lavender LED salt lamp on the go. I didn’t even change clothes - I brought these nighties to birth in yet I am still in the t-shirt and leggings I arrived in! Well later I'm starkers on the bottom haha. All this packing and I didn’t use anything nor did I have any food I packed just water. I'm on the bed with my gas and air. I can't stand as my SPD was really painful but I was very comfy. Chatting to Brad and the midwife and it was starting to feel so relaxed and so amazing. Contractions were intense but so bearable. I did puke after Brad gave me a sip of Lucozade haha but I went back to the gas. I was offered pain relief like diamorphine but I was enjoying the gas haha - Brad was like babe would you prefer pain relief but I was just preferring what I was doing. I didn't want an epidural as I still wanted to feel what I was doing.

We got to about 8:30 and I'm checked over again and she says I'm at 7cm! I was so happy that I was so productive. I was told I had to try and wee- so Brad had to physically lift me off the bed onto the bedpan...that was hard and so uncomfy but I did it. After being lifted back on the bed the next stage was quite fuzzy and a blur. She broke my waters shortly after (odd sensation!) I was checked again around 10:30 and I was told I was 9cm! It then soon got to the point where the pressure was real ! I needed a massive poop! I was also starting to give up and say to Brad ...I can't do this I really can't. Midwife says...transition time! I'm then told I can start pushing. I push with every breath and I am doing this for a good hour. Every time I pushed and got close she would go back in...I was starting to get really tired and fatigued. The midwife said she was very unhappy with baby's heart rate ...it dropped every time I pushed to worrying levels. Now I am relaying on what Brad said because I did almost blackout this next part.

I had 5 people in which were a mixture of midwives and doctors. Brad was so worried but didn't show it..he kept stroking my hair and kissing my forehead, holding my hand. All I know is the doctor took away my gas (as apparently this was distracting me from pushing properly?!) Believe me I was using every ounce of my being and nothing...they said I had to have an episiotomy as there was simply not enough room for her to come out. I had some general anesthetic applied to the area and I was cut...I apparently made the biggest scream Brad had ever heard which actually brought tears to his eyes. I was told one more push as her head was now down and out came this bloodied little person! She was given a quick wipe and put straight on my chest.

I cried with pure elation and relief. This beautiful 6lb 12oz girl was here at 12:21  a week after I was in hospital with the kidney infection ! We had a few mins of snuggles before she weed on me haha and Brad cut the cord. I was given an injection to birth the placenta which happened in about half hour of having Haisley- I felt nothing in comparison haha. I then had to be stitched up. Brad and the baby was sat across from me whilst I was on gas (again!) Getting all sewn up for two hours. Baby girl also did her first poo on Brad haha. She was already a little madam and she was only an hour old. Just a beautiful black haired little diamond. I had my shower and wee...(ouch) and walked like a duck...stitches and water were painful. I was in my incontinence pants (thank god as a period pad doesn't cut it!) And I went back in all freshened up. I held my baby and tried to breastfeed but I had no supply..turned out formula was the destiny for our baby and do you know what I didn't get down about it as it wasn't meant to be.

We laid in this suite of where we brought this little human in the world and just smiled. We were brought tea and toast and oh my god it was heaven. Bearing in mind I had an aversion to tea during pregnancy which as a Brit is tricky haha! Immediately I drank it and fell back in love with it like that. Came in handy the next few sleepless months as I hate coffee. I held her and drank my tea and I felt like I had been hit by a bus but was so comfortable and relieved. So blessed! That's my story. Thanks for reading. 

I'm Xanthe, 31 from Banbury in Oxfordshire but also a citizen of Aus ! (Funnily enough lived in Adelaide and still have family there). I work in company car claims and have done for 5 years but now gone part time so I can make time for my family. Blessed and lucky to be a mama and every day is miles different than the last