How Becoming a Mom Changes You by Beth Rush
From the moment you hold your child for the first time, you realize that life as you knew it has changed forever. Motherhood changes you in various ways, whether physically, emotionally or mentally. It leaves an indelible mark on every aspect of your being, and knowing how it changes you can offer a glimpse into what connects every woman as a mother.
1. New Sleep Habits
When I became a mom, my sleep habits took a drastic turn. In the early days of having a newborn, I woke up every two to three hours to ensure my baby was fed and comforted.
With this overwhelming need to be there when my daughter woke up, I became a seriously light sleeper. I noticed that my sensitivity to noise increased, and I would wake up at the slightest sound. Over the years, this habit led to bouts of insomnia, which took a toll on my body and mental health.
As a mom, you may find that sleep becomes a rare luxury. From the moment you bring your baby home, your once restful nights can turn into a series of short naps. Of course, this will be due to feeding schedules, diaper changes and constant urges to check on your little one.
However, the demand and stress of motherhood can increase and make it harder to get a good night’s rest. Insomnia is even common during late pregnancy. Studies show that 70% of women in their third-trimester report sleep disorders because of a growing baby, back pain and acid reflux.
As your motherhood journey progresses, finding ways to manage these sleepless nights is crucial. Creating a bedtime routine, like reading a book or drinking a calming cup of chamomile tea, will improve your chances of sleeping better at night.
2. A Loss of Identity
Losing a huge part of who you are is common. Being a mom, I felt my entire identity revolved around caring for my children. It felt like that was the only purpose I had in life. When I had my first child, I was young, attending college and figuring out what I wanted to pursue.
However, that sense of direction seemed to slip away. I even felt a disconnect from my close group of friends. I no longer identified myself with them because they weren’t married or had any kids. They were still living life as they enjoyed it, which made me lose them and a sense of the person I was.
Becoming a mom can sometimes make you feel like you’ve lost touch with yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day responsibilities of caring for your kids. Before you know it, the things that once made you feel like you start to fade away. Your style, hobbies, and old friendships can take a back seat as your focus shifts entirely to your family.
3. A Need for Social Connections
I often reflected more on the importance of family and social connections. While raising my children was my number one priority, I also had to make sure they had meaningful relationships with the people closest to me.
Motherhood changes you, realizing how fleeting time can be. I felt a deep need to make the most of every precious moment, so I ensured my children and I had a close relationship with their grandparents.
Life is short, and you might re-evaluate the importance of social connections. Since multi-generational households make up only 20% of the U.S. population, you likely don’t live with your parents like me.
This distance can strengthen your desire to ensure that you and your children maintain relationships with family members. Motherhood may make you feel isolated at times, but you can make an effort to spend time with loved ones and ensure that you and your kids cherish the time you have together.
4. You Become More Vulnerable
Since becoming a mom, my vulnerability has increased tenfold. Suddenly, the world felt more fragile, and stories of suffering affected me deeply, especially when they involved children. To this day, an overwhelming sadness washes over me if I come across a heartbreaking news article or video on social media.
I can’t bring myself to watch or think about it — because every time I see a child in pain — it feels as though it’s my own child who is suffering. As those intense feelings wash over me, I always want to stay close to my children and never let them go.
You might find your vulnerability increases in ways you never expected, too. The protective instincts you develop can make the world feel like a much scarier place, especially when it comes to your children’s well-being. Those stories can hit so close to home. However, this sensitivity also shows your depth of love and the lengths you would go to protect them.
5. You Change on a Cellular Level
During my first pregnancy, I felt like I was becoming a new person. While I was still the same in some ways, I saw a change in myself. I felt different when I had a renewed urge to achieve my career goals. I’ve always loved writing and knew I had to fulfill that.
So, I started writing in any way I could, whether it was starting a blog or freelancing in my free time. With a newborn at the time, I had this overpowering feeling to start my own business as if time was running out. Being a stay-at-home mom was challenging in itself. Yet, I knew I would succeed if I had the freedom to create my own schedule and stay home with my child.
Motherhood can fuel this determination and teach you how to use your time wisely. These changes reach down to the very cells in your body. Studies show that microchimeric cells transfer from the fetus to the mother during pregnancy.
As a mom of two children from two different pregnancies, I carry three distinct sets of microchimeric cells:
Those from my own mother.
The fetal cells from my first child.
And another set from my second child.
This fascinating phenomenon means that a small number of cells from your child will exist within your body genetically. It’s a reminder that after becoming a mom, you are, quite literally, a different person.
This Is How Motherhood Changes You
Motherhood can change you in ways you may not have imagined — from how you see the world to the cells that make up who you are. It’s a journey filled with joys, challenges and unconditional love that only moms can experience. Embrace how motherhood changes you, and know that every step of the way is a testament to the strong bond you share with your children.
Beth Rush is the family wellness editor at Body+Mind, a health and wellness brand. She is raising her own family on plant-based recipes and mindful nutrition. You can find Beth on Twitter @bodymindmag.