How Children Express Anxiety Differently Than Adults by Mia Barnes

Anxiety is a complex emotion most people associate with adulthood. However, as “Inside Out 2” showed, such emotions appear as soon as you become a teenager. Some people may even experience it earlier on in life. 

Children express their feelings a little differently than the average adult. Moms must recognize how their kids communicate to learn about their emotions as early as possible. Here are a few examples of how they may showcase their anxiety. 

1. They Fall Silent
Adults who experience anxiety can usually express their feelings and discuss the situation at hand. However, children are still developing their communication skills, so they may be unable to articulate their feelings and have difficulty speaking.

Kids with selective mutism could talk at home with you and other close family members but may go a whole year or more without speaking to anyone in their classroom. Coordinate with teachers to know your child’s behavior in school. 

2. They Avoid Certain Plans
Adults who cancel plans will likely give a reason for doing so. Children experiencing anxiety for the first time may distance themselves from the cause of stress without communication. Here are a few examples:

• Academic anxiety: Some kids stress about school activities like quizzes and tests to the point that they may avoid examination days and classes.

• Social anxiety: Classmates and friends like to get together outside of school hours. Children who fear socializing may skip these gatherings, affecting their relationships.

• Medical anxiety: Avoidance can happen even outside of the school setting. About 38% of people say they don’t go to the dentist due to dental anxiety and 50% of preschool-aged children are afraid of the doctor, showcasing how these coping mechanisms can go as far as affecting physical health and well-being. 

Parents must ask kids about these sudden inclinations and work through the fear. If your kids seem adamant about their avoidant attitude or even self-isolate, you may have to give them a little time and privacy. When they seem more willing to talk, gently share your concerns and check in on their mood.  

3. They Become Emotional
Adults with anxiety can regulate their emotions, for the most part, as they better understand their moods. Children are still learning about their feelings, which is overwhelming and scary.

Avoid raising your voice if your children cry or get angry, and extend your patience as they process their emotions. You can wait for them to calm down for a more straightforward conversation. 

4. They Restrict Themselves
Children may express their anxiety by restricting themselves. About 64% of parents report that their kid feels self-conscious about their appearance. Those insecurities may lead them to limit their food, potentially in an unhealthy way, without realizing the consequences. 

Kids sometimes have difficulty fitting in, so they become hard on themselves. Parents can serve as role models and advisers to help children be kinder to themselves. Rather than beating themselves up, they must learn to uplift themselves. 

5. They Panic
Anxiety can last for weeks, months and even years. However, kids may have a more severe episode because of a person or situation. A panic attack lasts anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes, peaking at 10 minutes in.

Adults also experience panic attacks, but it feels more intense for children going through them for the first time. You can recognize that they are having one if they seem like they’re about to choke or throw up. Mindful breathing and distraction can ease these symptoms.

Talk to Your Children
Anxiety can be challenging to detect in children and requires attention. Let your kids hold your hand as they face their anxiety to make all those scary feelings just a little more bearable. You have to reassure them — and yourself — that everything will be OK.

Mia Barnes is a professional freelance writer specializing in postpartum wellness and practical family health advice. She has over 5 years of experience working as Body+Mind magazine's Editor-in-Chief. You can follow Mia and Body+Mind on X and Instagram @bodymindmag.