Introducing New Baby To Siblings

From prepping for pregnancy all the way through to birth, the first twelve weeks with your newborn, and figuring out the kind of parent you want to be long-term, the Zen Mama Guide explores the struggles, joyful moments, and hard-won realizations of motherhood.

Whether it’s dealing with fertility challenges or pregnancy loss, riding out a long and complicated labor, or juggling multiple kids (and work!), Sarah and Teresa have been through it--and have written this gorgeous book to help you find your own glimpses of zen along the way too.

If this new baby is not your first, you might be wondering how your other children will adjust. Older children are naturally very excited, but also sometimes anxious about having a new sibling. Even very young children will often sense that big change is coming. It’s also quite normal for older children to have a slight regression in the form of altered sleep, bed wetting, or acting out for attention. Things will settle down; it just takes some time for them to get used to the new normal. We’re sharing Sarah and Teresa’s tips and tricks for bringing home baby to siblings as well as tips complied from our beautiful YZM community! We’d love to hear any tips you have to add in the comments!

@swrightolsen:
The age difference in my first two is 3 years and for my 3rd it’s 4 years and 7 years.

My number 1 tip for introducing your child to a new baby is to start at the beginning. When you go to the doctor for those first few ultrasounds bring your little one with you. If that’s not possible because of COVID then share stories of the doctor’s office and bring an ultrasound photo home. If you would rather wait until your second trimester that can absolutely work too.

Here is my thought behind this and how I incorporated this into my family. When we were pregnant with baby number 2 I told my son that I was pregnant before telling my husband and I had him all his dad. He was 2 at the time and it was the sweetest moment. I told Wyatt that we were having a baby and that he would have a person to play with and that he could hold this baby and that it was his baby too. I always talked about the baby as “our” baby and I took him with me for ultrasound appointments. We would talk about things we wanted to show the baby when it was here and slowly over 9 months he had time to get used to the idea of his new sibling. When his sister arrived she even brought him a wooden red boat and a stuffed animal as a gift when Wyatt arrived at the hospital. Wyatt also got to pick out a special gift for the new baby to bring her and they “exchanged” presents that Wyatt was very proud of.

When I was pregnant the third time both of my children were so excited. At my first ultrasound, I found out that the baby didn’t make it. This was devastating for all of us and I was crushed mentally and run down physically. Some may question my older children going through this process but it was actually so beautiful to go through this together. My children understood why I was so sad and they were able to talk about their sadness and longing for another sibling.

We found out we were pregnant a month and a half later on Christmas Day! I shared it with them by wrapping my pregnancy test in a present and they squealed with excitement. From there they came on the journey of naming the baby, following along with her growth, finding out it was a girl and counting down the days until she arrived. Every moment leading up to her arrival was strengthening the bond before her birth day.

To me this process and having your little ones around during the early days of babies birth to help, to cuddle, to be present all helps initiate and solidify their bond.

@kayapigo:
Talk to tummy every night when pregnant. Exchange presents at first meeting

@frommypencil:
Talk it up but be real. Give them space to feel! Have a special gift from baby

@cooke_claire:
Have baby in bassinet etc so child can come to hug mama and then show baby to sibling

@sarah_anne6210:
Try to involve them in the prep of baby so they’re used to hearing about them

@fitmamaspecialist:
We let our older kiddo choose a role that he was excited about to be involved with baby

@teresapalmer:
From the first moment we get a positive pregnancy test we are very open with the kiddies, we love the idea of folding them in to the excitement and nervousness of the first trimester and we explain that not all babies can stay so that they know it’s a delicate time for mama and sometimes that means I might be sick or maybe some afraid feelings might come up. We keep it beautifully open and talk about what baby might look like and things baby might want to learn when they’re on the outside. We always fold the baby into experiences we are having even when they’re still in utero, like Christmas for instance, we let the kids pick out a present for their new baby.

We also love reading books about how to take care of the baby and let the kids pick out clothes for the baby to wear when he/she arrives. Once bubs is here we refer to the baby as “our baby” or “their baby” and often ask questions like “what do you think baby needs right now?” And “how can we help baby?” We really involve them and our kids all love doing nappy changes, cleaning Prairie and choosing her outfits. I’m really conscious of not saying “be careful” or “you can’t hold her” I want them to find their way with their younger siblings and while I stay close I give them the space to explore the baby, stroke her head, make her laugh, hold her hand. We sometimes think of babies as so delicate and breakable, but they can handle cuddles and pats, as long as the kids know that in general gentle hands with baby always feels better. We let Bodhi carry her around and they can all spend as much time with the baby as they want. I’ve also found it’s really important to dedicate one on one time to the siblings, so giving baby to my mum or hubby and still getting to do all the normal mama routine things, like cuddling them and reading them down to sleep each night without Prairie around to take my attention.

Another great tip is when you bring baby home to buy each child a present from the baby and write a letter saying thank you for welcoming me into your family, I’m so excited to learn from you etc. I know that helped our kids feel really special and seen!

@barbaraanne.smith:
Introducing them by letting the older sibling hold their new sibling

@hollycopelandrealtor:
Have a baby for them

@butler9699:
For my 4th baby I had him in his bassinet so I could be neutral if any of the others needed me

@danielledurand:
Being present during our home water birth

@agratefulheartphotography:
Have baby at home, include children in appropriate decisions such as first outfit, letters to babe, patience

@rachaeljtreloar:
Tell the, how lucky they are because their sibling will think they are the greatest thing in the world

@the.chances.are:
Have older sibling(s) make a “Welcome Baby” sign to give to baby upon meeting!

@theelizabethphillippo:
Give older siblings a present “from” the new baby

@the.barefoot.mama:
Get the older sibling to write a story or draw pictures telling baby all about their family

@theholisticparent.podcast:
Don’t say you can’t do something because of the baby