Nohr Elouan's Birth Story by Morgane

I always had the feeling that our little bundle of joy would arrive early. The numerous false hopes and all the signs of an impeding labour were there since week 35, comforting me in my intuition. The first day of week 39, I wasn't so sure anymore. It was mid December and I had an appointment with my midwife at 10.30am for an acupuncture session to help things along. The sun was shinning, it was a beautiful day in Copenhagen and as I went on a brisk thirty minute walk to my midwife, I was totally oblivious to the fact that it was about to become one of the most beautiful days of my life. When I had the strongest contractions I've had so far, I didn't think anything of it and kept going. When I had to stop every five minutes to breathe through the contractions getting stronger very quickly, I thought surely that can't be, it was just another false drill. When hearing the lyrics “Ready or not, here I come...” from The Fugees suddenly popping up in my ear, I smiled. After going up the fourth floor leading to my midwife and passing the long queue of people waiting to be vaccinated, I told myself to suck it up. When I couldn't sit through the contractions in the waiting room, only then I vaguely thought, maybe that's it. When my midwife saw me, she knew. She checked me, I was 3cm dilated. I was in labour. For the last months, I have been preparing for this day. I loved being pregnant and read everything I could on pregnancy and on birth. I started my journey here on Your Zen Mama, I was a fan of Teresa and loved Your Zen Life. I read all the articles and devoured the book The Zen Mama Guide, which led me to a lot of other great resources, such as the work of Ina May Gaskin. I quickly became fascinated by birth. I liked the philosophy of hypnobirthing and I read, listened, and watched a lot of positive birth stories. Against the advice of many, I decided for a natural birth in water without drugs or epidural, I wanted to feel everything for this magical and powerful experience. I did everything to help my body prep for the occasion; red raspberry leaf tea, dates, bouncing on my birthing ball, perineum massages, exercises, meditation, visualisation, etc... I was also ready and open for things not to go my way as each birth is unique and unpredictable.

I was in labour. I took in the news, and was already planning the day ahead, going home, calling my husband so we could cocoon, watch a movie, eat a nutritious filling meal, all the things I had read about and visualise when my midwife quickly stopped me in my track, I had to go to the hospital now. That's when I understood it was not gonna go as I planned and I let go of everything. From there on, everything went fast and felt like a trance to me. As I couldn't talk through the contractions that kept on coming and rising in intensity, my midwife called my husband at work for him to join us so we could go to the birth clinic together. She went down on the street to wait with me. Here I was, in the centre of Copenhagen, in labour, holding on to my amazing and supportive midwife to surf through the waves. Knowing how important it is to stay relaxed and calm, I didn't care about anything going on around me, I dropped all inhibition and got very primal, I just listened to my body, which wanted only one thing, to squat or go on all four. My husband finally arrived and my midwife convinced us to go back to her office to check me again and see our possibilities. I was now 4cm dilated, things were going fast. She called a very big taxi for us, and down to the street again we all went and she wished us the best. The taxi ride was the hardest part of our periple to the birth clinic. Stuck on all four between two benches on the back, taking support on my husband, it was hot, smelly and dirty. When he lovingly counted to help me with the up breathing we trained for, “4 in, 6 out my Love”, my gaze fixed on a bird poop on the window, I couldn't help but laugh inside. We finally arrived, my husband found me a wheelchair despite my refusal, I hated sitting during a contraction, but it went faster, so here we were, running through the hallways, my legs spread out and bum out of the chair at each contraction. We felt like in a movie and that gave us a good laugh. A lovely midwife welcomed us in a beautiful room with a double bed and a big birth pool, where flowering trees blossomed on the walls under dim lights. As soon as I could, I went in the water, and that felt like heaven. The warmth, the lack of gravity, the floating, the comfort, I loved it. Our birth playlist playing low in the background, only one midwife was present to help us on this journey and time passed in a blur. My husband was my rock, supportive, thoughtful and all round amazing. Massaging my back relentlessly to help me through those bad back pains, keeping me hydrated, and applying pressure to my forehead to soothe and keep me calm and grounded. The contractions kept on coming, closer, stronger. I wasn't fighting them, focused on my breathing, I welcomed them like waves rolling through me, each one bringing me closer to meet our little wonder. I remembered something I read about our perception of the pain in birth, and how it didn't have to be painful or perceived as such as this pain wasn't a sign of danger but our body working its magic, this small mind switch was really comforting to me and helped me surrender. In between the waves, I moved around a lot, tried to relax as much as possible, constantly repeated little mantras to myself, “I can do this”, “I am strong”, “I am opening”..., cracked some jokes, hummed at times, and being my overly polite self, apologize for being too loud during the contractions. There were still times where I felt very weak and exhausted, and muttered some 'I don't want/can't to do this anymore' to my husband, who kept supporting me with positive and loving affirmations. Surprisingly, at no point I thought or wanted any drugs, I was too fully immersed in the experience.

A little before 3pm, I was fully dilated, which is unusually fast for a first birth, the strength and intensity of the contractions helped things move along. The next challenge was for baby to further fall into my pelvis, the problem was, my bladder was too full and I couldn't pee. My midwife and my husband convinced me to get out of the pool, which I was very reticent to leave, to lie down on the bed to get the help of a catheter. I hated being on my back, but the catheter really helped and in no time I was back in the water and things were progressing fast. At this point, the hardest part was over for me, the pushing was no small affair, but I knew I was about to meet our little angel. When it was go time, two other midwifes joined us to ensure everything was going smoothly. To avoid tearing, I tried as much as possible to not rush this part, I listened to the midwife's instructions but mostly to my body and only pushed when having a contraction, this paired with the breathing techniques, really helped. That part felt intense, powerful, surreal, life-shattering, magical.

At 4.45pm, Nohr joined us earthside in water. With him against my chest, I felt so alive, happy, accomplished and in shock. I looked at my husband, our eyes filled with tears of incredulity and love. Nohr was healthy and thriving. We moved to the bed so he wouldn't get cold and we just stayed there all cuddled up together, in awe of the little miracle that we created. Soon after, I birthed the placenta without any difficulty. I needed one or two stitches but I was happy to learn that I didn't tear. Relieved to have him in my arms, I was so grateful for the positive birth I visualised and dreamed of. I was even more thankful for my husband and the support and help of our incredible midwife, I couldn't have done it without them.

This was one of the most extreme experience I ever went through, it was hard, it was wild, it was raw, the intensity of it was shattering, but it was incredibly empowering and beautiful in the same time.

I am more than ever fascinated by birth and the miracle that is the female body, no matter how we bring our little ones into this world, vaginal birth or C-section, with or without epidural, birth is birth, we are magical and powerful, we create life. 

P.S: Acupuncture rocks.

Morgane is a writer, a French teacher, and founder of Once Upon a Language. After travelling the world and living in more than 8 countries, she now lives in Copenhagen with her little multilingual family.
@morganeja12