Parenthood: Through The Years by Sarah and Teresa

The Zen Mama Guide To Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond covers everything from the moment you decide to think about having a baby to fertility, pregnancy, pregnancy loss, birth, postpartum and beyond. Being a parent is an incredible journey and today we wanted to reflect on our own individual journeys in motherhood so far, and our thoughts on the years beyond now that await. We'd love to hear your parenthood reflections in the comments below!

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PARENTHOOD: THROUGH THE YEARS

SARAH

Newborn:
I just had my third baby and spent the first 40 days in my home near my room and in bed with her. She and I were connected in a way that it was as tho she was still attached to my body. She slept on me, by me, with me and nursed as I ate. The longest I was away from her was to shower or go to the bathroom. I felt that my mood and energy were flushed with happy hormones and that my time with her is something that I will always be grateful for. We bonded in a beautiful way and I know that time was a privilege.

Baby:
One of the most beautiful things that I learned from having a baby is that they are constantly learning, observing, and following your energy. When I had my third baby, Winter I took everything very slow with her. I told her before I would pick her up or change her diaper. I would ask her if she wanted milk and then feed her. I am always observing her small tells and little flickers of baby communication. She is a very chill settled baby and watching her communicate at even 8 months old is completely Fascinating.

Toddler:
These are the moments that are equally as delicious and adorable as they can be frustrating and challenging. Your little one will try to test boundaries and we want them to! But we also have to be very clear with them about where the boundary is and have natural consequences when that boundary has been crossed. It’s an ever-changing landscape with a toddler and once you feel you have it figured out they outsmart us and start trying something new.

Childhood:
I have learned that every child is so unique. What they need and how they react to the world will be different. Which means how we parent them may look a little different for each kid. For example, my 4-year-old Esmé needs hugs and love when she is upset. She regulates in our arms whereas our son Wyatt needs a lot of clear communication and he needs us to hear him out. Each child brings something very different to us and we have to be open to them.

It’s hard for me to think about my excitement for my kids as they grow older because I am currently trying to practice being in the moment and staying very present with gratitude for right now. I am most excited for what we as a family will learn together as the years go by and our Babies grow.

Some of my most favorite moments are sitting at the table every night at dinner and talking about our day. Some days we have story night and some days are word night, some days are problem-solving night and we all bring things to the table to discuss even the adults and we all work together to find solutions.

TERESA

Newborn:
What I learned during my time with my 3 (almost 4!) newborns is that we can slow it all down. With my first baby I was so set on ensuring I was scheduling him in those first two weeks but my mama instincts were pushing back. I ended up throwing out the schedules, stopped looking at the clock and followed his cues. I fed him when he was hungry, he slept wherever he was at, whatever time he wanted and I just attuned to his needs. It’s the philosophy that I’ve raised the others by as well “meet the needs as the needs arise” we talk more about this time period in chapter seven of our book. 

Baby:
I love this period, you get to see the individual personalities of each baby, what they respond to, what they don’t. Each of my babies have all been so wildly different even at this young age. During this stage we always continue to nurture their needs as they arise and also allow them the environment to blossom in the way that serves them best. For example; Forest loved a lot of floor play as a baby, with explorative toys to decipher and chew. He enjoyed having the space to do things his own way and to be out of arms for longer periods than the others. Bodhi and Poet loved being in arms and I wore them in a carrier a lot of the time. Poet was timid around louder noises or toys that moved! Whereas Bodhi wanted everything bright shiny and loud. I’m full of anticipation to see where this little lady fits in. 

Toddler: 
This stage is about helping to regulate emotions and they will have them ALL. What oftentimes seems like an irrational swing in moods is just a toddler trying to communicate, push boundaries and find their way. More often than not it’s about being seen and heard. I always try to put my selves in their little (adorable!) shoes, it might be comfort they’re after, a cuddle or just to have a check-in with a parent without distractions. This stage is so beautiful, delicate and challenging. It helps to take deep breaths and try and meet each situation with understanding and compassion before being reactionary. 

Childhood:
I’m just loving seeing my 7 and 4-year-old grow into the little men they’re becoming. Both so different but really full of love and sensitivity. It’s sometimes hard to not take things on personally if one of their feelings get hurt outside of the home or if I notice they’re feeling scared, embarrassed or upset. I get so invested in their emotional well-being that I always try to tell myself to allow them to have their experiences and be the soft place for them to land. It’s all about communication at this stage and starting to introduce them to all the wonderful things the world has to offer. I love debriefing with them at night time before they fall asleep and sharing some really thoughtful conversations with one another. We turn the twinkling stars of the galaxy on which lights up their room and we cuddle, one boy under each arm as we look up at the stars and connect. My favourite time of the day. 

The most exciting part of watching the kids grow is seeing the people they’re evolving into. With love, guidance, support and always being an ear for them to share their worries, I feel we can do no wrong if they just know in their heart that no matter what, we are here for them.