The Different Sides of Birth by Rebecca Black
The day we give birth is one we remember for the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, one in three women describe their birth as traumatic… and this can have a long lasting effect on a woman’s mental health and wellbeing, their bond with their baby, and their overall transition into motherhood. Birth trauma often occurs when a female feels scared or helpless during birth, unheard or unsupported, feeling like everything was outside of her control, and she might have even feared for her own life or the life of her baby.
It can sometimes take months or even years to heal from your childbirth experience, and this process of healing can be further hindered by our tendency to suppress negative emotions and experiences, as well as societies messaging around labour and birth – it is supposed to be painful and horrible, or being told ‘oh well, at least you have a healthy baby and that is all that matters’.
This is not okay. You matter, your birth story matters, and your feelings about your birth matter.
If you experienced a traumatic birth, here are some little tips on how you can start to process your birth and overcome the trauma you experienced:
Find someone to support you in processing your birth – this could be a psychologist, a women’s circle or a trusted friend. Having the space to talk through your birth with someone who is non-judgmental and validates your experience and your emotions is key. It can also help to write out your birth story, describing the events of your birth and how it made you feel, as well as what you learnt or how you grew from your experience.
Gain understanding around why your birth went the way it did, and notice any negative self-talk that comes up. Do you blame yourself or feel guilty about your birth experience? Remind yourself that you did everything you could, and be kind and compassionate towards yourself.
Talk about your birth experience with your partner. Our partners can also experience birth trauma, and it can be really powerful to process the birth together and support each other.
On the other hand, some women describe labour and birth as amazing, empowering, and transformational. A woman can find her most beautiful and powerful self when giving birth to her baby. Childbirth preparation is key to experiencing a positive birth. Gaining knowledge and skills to support you through labour, as well as letting go of fear around birth, will allow you to relax, trust your body and make informed decisions.
HypnoBirthing is a form of childbirth education, with its philosophy and techniques supporting women to birth their babies in an atmosphere of gentility, calm and joy. If a woman is prepared, confident and calm she can birth her baby in an easier, more comfortable (and potentially pain free) way. Birth is normal, natural and healthy... it is not a medical event and does not need to be treated as such. The HynoBirthing program includes learning a range of techniques to support women through their labour, including deep relaxation, self-hypnosis, breathing techniques, affirmations, visualisations and education.
It seems crazy that we spend so much time and energy preparing for different milestones in our life, for example our wedding, but so often women choose to "wing it" when it comes to giving to birth. I can guarantee you that the day you give birth will stay with you forever, and it can be one of the most amazing experiences of your life...
My name is Bec, founder and director of The Mindful Birth Movement! I’m a Psychologist, a HypnoBirthing Practitioner, and most importantly a mumma to my two beautiful girls (Stevie, 4 years, and Aubrey, 18 months old). I love all things pregnancy, birth & the postpartum period... and I created my business to support you on your journey! Labour & birth is one of the biggest events in your life, and it is so important to prepare your mind and body for it. And transitioning into motherhood is even BIGGER! I am passionate about supporting women to develop skills and strategies to effectively manage their mental health and to ensure that they experience positive wellbeing after the birth of their baby. Although pregnancy and early motherhood can be an exciting time, it can also be extremely stressful and I believe that all women could benefit from some extra support. Feel free to get in touch if you want to chat about how I could support you on your journey.
Website: www.themindfulbirthmovement.com.au
Instagram: www.instagram.com/themindfulbirthmovement