Top 5 Tips When Going Through Fertility Treatment by Ceci Jeffries, Fertility Hand
Embarking on fertility treatment can be one of the toughest and most anxiety provoking situations you’ll go through in your life. It’s affecting your body, your emotions, your relationships, your work - your whole life. The constant waiting. The fear of the unknown. The uncertainty. Will it all be worth it?
Fertility struggles are unpredictable, emotionally overwhelming and physically exhausting. Making the transition from trying to conceive naturally to undergoing fertility treatment can be not only upsetting but you will feel as though you have little or no control over your future. Take back control by prioritising yourself and your needs.
Having been through significant fertility treatment over several years, I know the daunting and unfamiliar nature of it well. So, here are my TOP 5 tips:
Gather your support team
Having a solid support system in place can make a huge difference when you’re going through fertility treatment. The best time to invest in a support system is before you start treatments and before you need help. This could be a coach, acupuncturist, best friend, hairdresser, psychologist or neighbour. Find people who you know will support you and cheer for you. These people will provide an outlet on the hard days and make a world of difference. How many people you share your journey with is entirely up to you. The one thing to be aware of is, the more people who know, the more people who will check in on you and that can cause more stress at times. If you do feel this way, it’s okay to say things like “thank you for your support on this, I’m just taking a mental break but I will come to you when I feel like talking”.
Advocate for yourself
You are the CEO of your fertility. Be prepared with questions for your doctor or medical team. Keep a running list of questions on your phone so you can easily ask them during follow up appointments. Ask to be assigned a specific nurse. Be assertive and do your research. Knowledge is power. You might have doubts about the accuracy of your diagnosis, you might be unsure if the recommended course of treatment is right for you or you might have financial concerns about your treatment plan. Perhaps you just don’t have a good feeling about something. Remember, you don’t have to settle for the first doctor you see. A second opinion can give you a different outlook on your situation. Make sure you choose a doctor you trust.
Prioritise your mental health
Fertility struggles can take a huge toll on your mental health. Often we are so focused on the physical aspects of treatment, the mental toll can take us completely by surprise. Going through fertility treatment can often involve putting a huge amount of effort into appearing ok, particularly at work or in certain social settings. Having a solid self-care routine in place can provide a great way to cope with what can be an emotionally draining experience. Self-care means proactively looking after yourself and can include anything from practical relaxation techniques to mindfulness to exercise to sleep. Be kind to your mind and be gentle with yourself. You’re allowed to slow down. You’re allowed to take time out. You’re allowed to put yourself first. Don’t be afraid to let people in, such as a coach or counsellor if you’re struggling.
Set healthy boundaries
We all know we should have them in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy relationships with partners, friends and family. And during a fertility struggle, they are more important than ever. Tell people what you need even when they ‘should know’. Tell people what you need even when it’s ‘common sense’. Educate your loved ones. It is ok to say no to the things that don’t make you feel good or cause you stress and anxiety. That includes conversations with family or friends or going to that baby shower. Set social media boundaries by taking a break or detoxing your feed by unfollowing accounts that don’t make you feel good. Set a healthy limit on your own research (e.g. google) as collecting information can often leave you feeling more anxious and overwhelmed.
Join the online community
Online communities such as Instagram and Facebook are great ways to connect with those going through the process and with those that have been through the process. You can stay anonymous and still receive support. Reach out to them and ask them questions. They are some of your biggest cheerleaders, understand much of what you’re going through and will help you feel less alone on this journey.
Infertility is not your fault and you are not alone.
Ceci Jeffries is an IVF Mum of 3 and founder of Fertility Hand, a coaching service supporting women on their fertility journey. Ceci also has an amazing Instagram community @ceci_fertilityhand where you’ll find lots of tips and light hearted entertainment to help get you through.