Why Balancing Motherhood Is A Myth by Caressa Walker
Balance is an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. It seems that everyone is trying to reach that sweet spot of balancing life’s responsibilities. Between being a mother, working, and fulfilling wifely duties it feels like the tasks never stop. I have already written a post on finding the woman in the mother that you can find here. There is always something to clean, fix, or do when you wear many hats. The tasks never seem to end. Even when there is nothing to do your mind runs rampant with all things that you need to be doing with your time instead of resting.
I have heard so many women say they are trying to balance motherhood and I began to truly reflect on their words. Like what does balancing motherhood really mean? How do you truly provide equal distribution to all things when there is a position that you embody 24/7? The truth is that it’s ok to not balance motherhood because, in all honesty, I believe that motherhood isn’t a position that was intended to be balanced. It’s a priority and will always be! This is what makes it hard because no matter what, nothing will ever compare to the relationship that I have with my child. And this doesn’t mean that you can’t make time for you! Making time for you is equally important. Let’s get to chatting about why balancing motherhood is a myth that contributes to women lacking fulfilled lives.
1. BEING A MOTHER IS A JOB THAT REQUIRES ATTENTION NO MATTER THE TIME, DAY, OR SEASON
Being a mother is not something that we can turn on or off. There isn’t a switch that flips off in our brain when we aren’t around our kids. This is because there are actual changes in the brain that occur that are connected to our emotions and can cause us to worry about our children whenever they are not in our sight. As mothers, we are oftentimes at work thinking about the needs of our children and how we can fulfill them. This means that our minds often deviate from the set task of working, to gravitate toward our natural priorities, our children. Balancing means there is an even distribution of duties and when being a mother there is never a time when your child needs you where you voluntarily will not come to their aid because of your work or personal duties. When your kids come first, other things naturally will fall behind them in importance. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be a successful working mom, it just means that my priorities are set and that there is more thought that goes into managing your time so that it also works best for your kid(s).
2. OUR KIDS ARE A DIRECT REFLECTION OF US
People always say you make time for the things that are important to you. And with our children, this is no different. Moms spend their time making lunches, creating activities, and putting their mental health on the line to be everything for their children. And even when we are burnt out, we will still push through and get the job done. However, this same energy is not always given to our job, or even sometimes our relationships. And it’s because our kids are personal to us and are looked at as reflections of ourselves. Ask any mom, if their child is sick what are they going to do. Their answer is likely to be them calling into work no matter the number of things they have to do to make sure their child is ok. They will deal with the repercussions that come with it as long as their child is fine. This is not balancing because, at any point in time when our children need us, we are going to come rushing in to provide the care they need no matter what. It’s difficult to balance that type of role because there is nothing in the world that even compares in importance to it.
3. BALANCE REQUIRES ROLES TO BE ON THE SAME LEVEL OF PRIORITY
Usually, people can balance things that are somewhat equal in their priority but motherhood is not something that you can even remotely battle with. If you ask a woman who they are they will oftentimes state that they are a wife (if they are one) and a mother and then will state their job position. IN THAT ORDER!!!! This isn’t a coincidence, this is truly how we feel. Women will quit their jobs, fight, and God knows what else for their children. But they will think again to do these things for themselves or their significant others.
I wrote this post to help relieve that anxiety of feeling like you had to balance it all. Because trying to balance it all is tiring, exhausting, and downright impossible. Something is likely to always fall lower on the priority list when being a mother. But something being less important doesn’t mean that we aren’t working hard on making those things come true. They are just less important than our children. You can be a great mother and have a successful business. You can love your children and still want to follow your dreams. It just takes better management of your time, effort, and energy.
By trying to balance it all we put the pressure on ourselves to give everything in our life the same amount of time and dedication. And it’s just not realistic. Life is full of natural ups and downs, that carve out life’s experience into this beautiful masterpiece. Enjoy the ride of wherever life takes you and designate your time where you see fit. As a mother, our children often motivate us to push ourselves to our limits and help us to reach the dreams that we feel are unimaginable. And because they come first, before our dreams they are often a part of the locomotive to make them happen. You are not failing mama! You are doing well, and are setting your priorities the way they should be.
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XOXO,
The Imperfect Woman
Hello, I’m so glad you are here! I am Caressa Walker, a 29-year-old woman who wanted to create a space where women could find support for things they sometimes feel they go through alone. I am an educator by trade but operate as a wife, mom, and woman 24 hours a day. I am a mom to one beautiful baby boy but hope to have more children in the future. I have been married to the love of my life for 6 years after he proposed 1 year into dating. I wanted to create a blog on my own terms to provide therapy for women like me. Women who desire to create their own version of perfection through the midst of life’s imperfection. This space will serve as a personal diary of my daily struggles in addition to tips and tricks in motherhood, womanhood, and self-improvement just to name a few. I hope that this blog will help other women like me to begin a journey of self-discovery and internal joy to create the life that they truly desire.