An Interview with Spiritual Coach Jenni Carroll: The Self-Worth Solution
There is a growing awareness on the importance of mental health and spiritual connection. The capacity for acknowledging self-worth is an important piece of this conversation. Self-esteem, stress, life challenges, and abandonment issues are in the news daily. Creating effective mindset goals and including spiritual strategies that make a real impact are often the solutions provided by experts and thought leaders to increase happiness and fulfillment.
Spiritual teacher and thought leader Jennifer Carroll provides the inside report on this crucial topic and shares the trends and background on how our capacity for more profound and satisfying relationships is ever-evolving.
Q: Jenni, the interest in self-worth has picked up a great deal of momentum in recent years. Can you share some insights on why that is occurring? How much can we attribute the struggles people are having emotionally to a potential lack of self-worth?
A. I can tell you with confidence that every emotional struggle can be traced back to an issue with self-worth. That is not to say that people who know their self-worth don’t experience a variety of emotions (sadness, frustration, worry, anger) and have situations or circumstances in their life that are challenging.
The difference is that those who are connected and aware of their worth are able to move through their negative emotions more easily, eventually getting to a place of releasing them entirely. They are also able to look at the challenges in their life from a different angle. This supports them in making choices that will solve their problems, or if the problem is “unsolvable” will support them in changing their perspective, either way getting them to a better place.
Q. That’s fascinating. We are also seeing an upswing in daily spiritual habits as a powerful tool. Are they really that important in cultivating a stronger sense of self-worth?
A. Spiritual habits are so important because they take us out of our heads for a minute. So much of our lives are focused on tasks, responsibilities and stress and worry about everything we don’t like or can’t control. As a result we tend to “merge” with our thinking mind. In other words we identify with the thoughts and feelings we are having.
The problem is we are not our thoughts and feelings. Spiritual habits such as journaling, meditation, walking even - which I would absolutely argue can be considered a spiritual habit, all help us create space from our thinking mind. Each of these strategies offers us a way to connect to a different part of us - the part of us that is calm, wise and not worried or ruffled by “all the things.”
Q. How do you see women responding to this upswing in prioritizing relationships with ourselves and others? Are women receptive?
A. I think women in general are wanting more for themselves. Clearly, women have moved out of traditional roles, yet continue to own the the lion’s share of responsibility for family, home, and social life. Relationships are important to all of us, and directly impact the quality of our lives. But I think women are realizing that they need to reprioritize themselves.
In order to have healthy relationships with their spouses or children or friends, they need to first nurture the relationship they have with themselves. While men too, want quality relationships, I think women are leading the charge to redefine what a successful marriage or relationship looks like... and understanding that it starts by looking within.
Q. Tell us a little about why this is a central focus for you in your work in the spiritual growth space?
A. Relationships have always been a passion of mine, and the reason I entered the therapy profession. Even as a child, I innately understood other people and relationship dynamics, so it was important for me to teach others how to better understand and navigate their relationships. But I’ve also come to learn that relationships hold a greater purpose than just bringing us love or friendship.
They are our primary avenue for growth and healing. I fully believe that relationships, more than anything else, are meant to teach us. And the challenges and frustrations we have with others are not by accident. The people closest to us are there to push us to address the parts of us that need to be healed. In order to successfully navigate our relationships, we must understand ourselves on a different level. This is where spirituality plays a role.
Q. What is the single most important tool you recommend women incorporate in their daily routines and overall approach to self-worth?
A. Meditation is truly the gold standard, but I know that many people get frustrated in their attempt to try meditation, and come away believing they “just can’t do it.” Almost everyone has this experience at first, but honestly that is sort of the point. The more difficult it is to separate from our thoughts, the more we need to work at doing just that. I always suggest starting with a guided meditation to ease into the experience.
There are great apps out there that can teach and transition you into the practice. Ultimately though, meditation on your own is where the deeper benefits are found. But, if you are someone who is not at all interested in meditation or it is just not something you are realistically going to do at this point in your life, then I strongly encourage daily outside walks. These can be short 15-20 minutes, but walking by yourself can actually offer similar benefits to meditation. I recommend trying walks with and without music and noticing the difference.
While walking is a great opportunity to process what’s on our mind. I also suggest working at staying in the present moment - noticing the sights and sounds around you and the feel of the ground beneath your feet. The more you can be truly be present, the more walking becomes a spiritual tool.
I really want people to understand that their spirituality exists whether or not they choose to acknowledge it. But also that the purpose of our spirituality is less about “being good people” and more about making our life easier. So, if you are resisting it, perhaps ask yourself why. The foundation to everything we experience hinges on how we feel about ourselves. Accessing our spirituality allows us to let go of our human failings and connect to the beauty and love within us...if for no other purpose than to live an easier, sweeter, more extraordinary existence.
Jenni Carroll, LMFT is an author, thought leader and therapist. Jenni is devoted to teaching foundational spiritual principles that create an easier and more extraordinary life. Her podcast “the Jenni Carroll Perspective” shares wisdom curated from research and experience along with valuable insight gained from closely supporting others to improve their relationships and their lives. For additional resources visit https://www.jennicarroll.com.