Birth Story: Oakley Sage
My second child’s birth story starts with some backstory of my pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant and was about 6-7 weeks along when I had some spotting. It stopped and I got some blood tests to see if my HCG levels were rising to give some indication as to if I was having a loss or not. I got the results and they doubled! But a couple of days later I was working my job at a coffee shop and the spotting began again. I was very emotional, and returned home to my son (age 2.5 at the time) and waited to see what was going to happen.
I had a pre planned trip to go to the beach for a long weekend with my son Zephyr, to meet up with my mom and younger sisters. I decided to still go, and on the drive down (about 2 hours) I felt cramping. The last 30 minutes I was driving alone with my sleeping 2.5 year old in the back seat and felt very strong cramping and pain and the urge to go to the bathroom. I was the first to arrive at the beach house and immediately parked and ran into the bathroom and sat my 2.5 year old on the floor and experienced my loss. We stayed the weekend and I dealt with the feelings of the loss by the water.
We returned home and continued on. About two months went by and I still hadn’t gotten a period. I called my midwife practice and they wanted to check me, make sure everything was okay after the loss and nothing was retained. Surprise! I was pregnant! The dates didn’t line up or make sense, but somehow I must have gotten pregnant immediately after the loss I experienced. I knew in my heart it was the same soul. I don’t know how to explain it, but I knew she wanted to be here and I knew it was the same spirit just a different physical body.
My pregnancy went fine, I was a bit more tired because I was chasing a toddler around 24/7 but everything went great. I was determined to have my natural childbirth and learned alllll of the things to prepare. My first I was very young, didn’t feel I had a voice over doctors “authorities” and when I was in active labor saying I didn’t want an epidural I was pressured into one along with some other birth traumas. So naturally because I was so prepared and determined, my water broke at 34 weeks.
We were leaving a play date and I thought I peed myself a little bit! I called my midwife because it hadn’t happened before and it continued to fill liners slowly over the afternoon. She suggested I head into L&D to get checked to see if it was amniotic fluid… or pee! We ate dinner and I put my son to bed because I didn’t want to go to labor and delivery to get checked while he was still awake. I joked the entire way in with the nurses and midwife about how embarrassing it was because it was probably just some pee. They told me it was amniotic fluid, that I wouldn’t be leaving the hospital until I had my baby, and the rest I don’t even remember hearing because I just started crying. I wasn’t prepared to come home to my son not being my only baby, I didn’t even have the car seat ordered, and I hadn’t even spent more than one day away from my son at this point.
I wanted to birth as natural as I possibly could and they were injecting me with steroids to help Oakleys lungs develop, antibiotics to prevent an infection that hadn’t started. I was stunned and in shock. My partner arrived that night and my son went to stay with my mom while this was happening. There were so many tears, I wanted to just go be with my son and have a little more time of him being my only baby. They told me they had to induce me, so after two rounds of steroids, about 1.5 days of being in the hospital so far, they started me on Pitocin. I bounced on birth balls, walked the room (thanks COVID), and tried what I could to get labor going. After almost two days on Pitocin slowly being increased I had to get the epidural, the pain was so bad for so long that I couldn’t take it anymore. And my body was resisting going into labor. One of the days I was feeling so defeated and upset and it was the one day an OB I wasn’t a fan of was in L&D instead of one of my midwives. I was crying saying I just wanted this to all be over and he said “well, if you want this done quicker I can offer you a c-section but that’s about it”. Obviously, more tears.
The next day my midwife who was there the night I was admitted was the one working L&D again. She came in, looked me in the eyes and said ‘I’m going to fully break your water. Let’s get you into active labor’. I agreed, and the nurses who were assigned to me that night were so amazing. They were so sensitive to the fact that I was giving birth early, my midwife was determined to get Oakley out! As unexpected as all of it was and how much pivoting I had to do from my dream plan, I finally felt a little better about the situation. I also was hyper fixated on the fact that I didn’t get a real “goodbye” with my first. I had been in the hospital about 5 days at this point. My body was finally working with the Pitocin and I dilated, and had her that evening.
Oakley was 5 pounds exactly and I had been in the hospital so long that she was able to stay in the room with us and not be taken to the NICU. (If she were born 34 weeks they automatically take them to the NICU but she reached 35!) She was the tiniest thing I had ever seen, and I was so incredibly happy that she had finally arrived. Despite being so tiny she latched and breastfeeding went so well. It was an overwhelming journey and it took some recovery mentally to just process it all.
Zephyr fell in love the moment he saw his baby sister and she is absolutely the soul our family needed at that time and ever since. The following summer we went on our annual long weekend trip to the beach with the little soul who was trying to come to our family at that time the year before. I’m writing this birth story while watching them (now 5 and almost 2) play, feeling my third kick in my belly!
I’m planning my natural birth of my third, but this time knowing full and well that things might change or not be as expected. Praying that this can be the birth I’ve dreamed of. Stay tuned…!
You can find Heidi on Instagram @heiiiid