Eating Together by Emma Bridgeman

You don’t often hear how important it is to eat together as a family or why. Common perception seems to be that it’s impossible to do regularly until the kids are much older, but in fact it is something that we should be doing from the time we start weaning and should carry on through adolescence, as much as possible.

Eating together is beneficial for families of all ages and stages, for a multitude of reasons; nutritional, behavioural, psychological and for healthy family functioning. Let’s take a look at these reasons in more depth. 

The Nutritional Benefits

A published study, 2020 Journal of Nutrition & Behaviour, showed that children aged between 2-18 years old who eat just 3 or more meals a week with the rest of the family ate 20% less unhealthy foods, plus they ate more vegetables and fruit.

When our children reach teenage years, as a result of their growing independence, they are often out with friends and eating foods of low nutritional content. As a result, they are often lacking in the vitamins and minerals they need. When families make the effort to come together for meals regularly each week, parents can ensure their teenagers are getting the nutrients they need through a healthy balanced diet. 

Family Functioning Benefits

The study also showed that families who eat meals together 5 or more times a week maintain deeper connections and have stronger emotional bonds. Other studies have also highlighted that families who regularly eat dinner together, have stronger communication and relationships.

Behavioural Benefits

Eating family meals together is beneficial for positively influencing certain behaviours throughout the different ages and stages of childhood.

Eating Family Meals with a Baby or Toddler

After first stage weaning, it is important to eat family meals together as much as possible. When parents eat with young children, they act as a role model. Eating with your little ones allows them to observe table manners and healthy eating habits, which will help to shape their behaviour at mealtimes and their relationship with food for life.

Having baby share in family meals regularly instead of having only baby specific food, exposes them to more flavour and variety early on, as well as allowing you to role model eating which decreases the risk of them turning into a fussy eater. Any family meal can be made suitable for baby, in all my recipes at togethertoeat.com I recommend how to tweak and serve if eating with a little one. I also have a Weaning with Family Meals course that teaches parents how to make any recipe baby friendly themselves.

Most families find it hard to eat dinner with their little one, especially if operating on a 7am to 7pm bedtime & wake routine. When possible, an 8am to 8pm makes it much easier to eat dinner as a family. But when dinner with the whole family really isn’t possible, sharing a meal with just one parent and baby at lunch time is another good option. The leftovers can then be frozen for another meal or two for parent and baby to share together.

Eating Together to Tackle Fussy Eating

In 2021 a review of 80 health studies was carried out by researchers from the University of South Australia. It showed that eating the same meal together as a family reduces fussiness around food. There are many reasons for this.

The first is role modelling. Eating as a family allows you to demonstrate to your fussy eater how to behave at mealtimes. By seeing others enjoying the same meal, they are more likely to eat and try new foods.  And role modelling is not just done by parents eating with their children, little ones often look at how their siblings or friends are eating and they want to mirror their behaviour. 

Eating with your fussy eater also gives you the opportunity to distract by making conversation. Doing this helps to take their mind off the meal, so long as conversation isn’t about what they are eating. Picky eaters will eat more if you don’t talk about their food or apply any pressure to eat. 

Fussy eaters often feel like they control meal times, which is true in many cases, but by having them share in the family meal subtly sends the message that they aren’t the boss of meal times and they need to fall in line with everyone else. To give your picky eater some control when moving to eating family meals together, you can always have them help with meal planning. For example, have them choose between two healthy choices. Involving them in cooking is also a great way to get them interested in eating the meal.

Even though eating family meals together has been proven to help with fussy eating, most families cite fussy eating as a reason NOT to eat together. They prefer to serve their fussy eater something different to avoid mealtime meltdowns and food refusal. This ends up becoming a cycle that is increasingly difficult to break.

I have my own picky eater at home, I made the mistake of weaning my first born on baby specific meals and he ate at different times to us. But when I switched to family meals I was able to combat his fussy eating and we soon got to a place where I could get him to eat anything (whether he enjoys it is another matter!). I have taken all this experience and put it into my FREE Picky Eater Plan at togethertoeat.com to help you confidently start tackling your fussy eater problem and cook just one meal for everyone.

Eating Family Meals with Adolescents

Studies have also shown that eating meals as a family 5 or more times a week, can lower risky behaviour within adolescents (10-18 years old).  This is seen particularly in girls, with a lower risk of them engaging in substance abuse, delinquent activity and early sexual activity. A reduced risk of developing depression and eating disorders was also seen. 

The link between lowering risky behaviours and eating family meals together goes back to the family functioning benefits. Sharing regular meals together allows families time to communicate and bond. Closer connections form and the children develop a greater sense of belonging. In addition, it gives children a forum to talk about their day and any sensitive issues they may be facing and allows the family to problem solve together. This can all lead to a healthier adjustment through these adolescent years. 

Tackling Childhood Obesity

Eating together as a family can also help prevent childhood obesity. As you engage in conversation at the dinner table you’ll find your child will eat slower as they chat, feel full quicker and so end up eating less. 

Resource Saving

In addition to all these benefits, eating family meals together will save you time and money. Cooking multiple meals daily for different family members is not just incredibly time intensive, it’s also costly. Families who do this end up spending more on their monthly food shop. 

Emma is an advocate of eating family meals together. She is a mother of two living in Surrey, UK. She shows parents how to tweak and serve her family recipes to babies, toddlers and fussy eaters. She also educates on the benefits of eating family meals together, and how to overcome the barriers to doing so.

For baby and picky eater friendly recipes go to www.togethertoeat.com and follow @togethertoeat on Instagram. You’ll also find her course on Weaning with Family Meals there too, which will teach you how to make any recipe suitable for sharing with a weaning baby.