Eloise's Birth Story by Hayley
Very early on in my pregnancy I knew I wanted to shift my mindset about birth. Like many mamas, I had heard one too many stories that left me feeling scared to ever go through the process myself. I found myself wanting to look forward to the birth of my baby - and I didn’t mean just the part at the end when you're holding the most precious tiny human in your arms. I wanted to shift my mindset and feel empowered rather than fearful through the whole process. And I wanted the best likelihood of a calm and natural birth as I brought my baby into the world…
After logging off from a day of work at 6pm on a Friday evening, I was feeling exhausted. Almost 36 weeks pregnant, I was counting down the days until my parental leave started. Just three days to go and I would have a few weeks to relax into motherhood. Everything was becoming more real now, and it was only the day before that I had been at the hospital receiving the final approval for a home birth. With a low-risk pregnancy and living in Victoria, Australia, I was in the wonderful position to have access to a home birth program through a local public hospital. It included the dedicated support of a midwife who would remain my midwife throughout pregnancy and birth. I felt this gave me the type of care I was looking for – “continuity of care” and being able to develop a relationship with the person who would deliver my baby, as well as the support of the hospital system.
It was with much surprise that I woke at 4am the next morning with my waters broken. I sat on the toilet feeling stunned at just how much was coming out! I also knew it meant a home birth was no longer as it had happened before 37 weeks, so I took a bit of time to process that and to be okay with it. I arrived at the hospital at 6.30am and after an initial review with my midwife it wasn't clear if I was in labour, and whether I'd be going back home or giving birth. I had no idea women could stay pregnant after their waters had broken! I started walking up and down the corridor outside the room and breathed through the uncertainty and surges, which were now becoming more frequent and intense. It was only another 20 minutes that went by when all became clear. My midwife examined me again and to my surprise I was already 5cm dilated! "You're going to the birthing suite, not home" she said. By now it was 7.30am, and this was really happening. It was time to put my preparation into practice. Going into the birthing suite, I knew:
Birth pain was a different pain - my body was shifting as it needed to and my hormones were helping the process. There was nothing to be scared of.
I was in safe hands with my midwife who I trusted so much - she shared my birth philosophy and had my back.
It was time to switch off my thinking mind and let my body take over - it was designed to give birth.
I had spent every month during my pregnancy consciously shifting my mindset about birth. I wanted to embrace all that came with it, not to fear it and to be in my power about it. I read every book by Ina May Gaskin (I especially loved Guide to Childbirth), Birth with Confidence by Rhea Dempsey, Zen Mamas (of course!) as well as studies and data on births in Australia. I read everything multiple times and made my own notes in a notebook. This included getting clear on why I was committed to a natural birth and avoiding pain relief – I wanted to reduce the likelihood of anything interfering with my baby and I bonding straight after birth, and to remain free to move around through the process. This also meant reducing the likelihood of any interventions being required. However, I absolutely remained open to them if they were needed to ensure my little one arrived safely.
I also completed a hypno-birthing class which led me to sticking birth affirmations on the walls of my home. I repeated these to myself in the weeks leading up to this moment. “My baby is safe, I am safe” and “My baby is the perfect size for my body”. These were just two of the ones that resonated most with me, and contributed to me feeling at ease as I entered the birthing suite.
In the birthing suite, my midwife did her best to mimic how I would have set up the environment at home. She kept the room dimly lit and quiet. We only spoke when we needed to. She told me my body would know when to push and let me follow this. When there were two times I said I didn't think I could do it, she reminded me that I could. She encouraged me to move around and get into whatever positions felt right. I was able to go with the flow, listen to my body and follow my birthing instincts. I felt safe the whole time.
My baby was born quite quickly - less than 4 and a half hours later. I had not known whether I was having a boy or a girl, although I had many dreams when I was pregnant of breastfeeding a baby girl and staring at her beautiful face. I will never forget how I felt lifting the towel covering the tiny human who was laying on my belly, and discovering she was the girl I had been dreaming of.
Eloise’s birth was calm and beautiful and everything I hoped it would be. Whilst I know my preparation and mindset played a huge role, I will forever feel so grateful to the women whose knowledge, wisdom and experience I was able to learn from through their books, courses and advice. This included my midwife. My relationship with her and the continuity of care model was a huge contribution and helped me birth Eloise the way I had wanted to. I wish there was more access to this type of care in Australia’s public maternity system.
Hayley is a first-time mama living in Victoria, Australia. She works across organisational change, leadership development and wildlife conservation spaces. Having completed her Masters degree just one week before Eloise was born (crazy timing!) she is now loving the change of pace of being at home with 5-month old Eloise on parental leave.