Finding Balance In A Pandemic Pregnancy by Rhiannon Langford

Pregnancy is always a period of major change, but no one could anticipate the changes going on in our world as well. Pandemic pregnancies aren’t all bad - working from home in the first trimester means all the sweatpants and saltines without your coworkers finding out. You don’t have to pretend you aren’t drinking when there are no parties to go to! And all that extra time at home means more time to bond with your partner before your family transitions into this next stage of life. However, there is plenty of uncertainty that comes with growing a human during these unprecedented times. If you’re feeling the effects of a pandemic pregnancy, keep reading for some tips about finding balance.

Allow Space for Grief

Pregnancy is a magical, beautiful thing, but that doesn’t mean it has to be sunshine & rainbows every step of the way. You can be grateful that you’re having a child, while still grieving parts of the process you’re missing out on, however trivial. Many people, especially those who’ve experienced infant loss feel a lot of guilt when they communicate the less-than-positive side of their pregnancy. However, there is a lot of healing to be found in communicating your truth, making space for that emotion, and letting others be there for you once you’ve told them what help it is you need. Whether it’s missing having your partner or support person accompany you to appointments, grieving the loss of the in-person baby shower, or feeling bummed because you won’t have the chance to make mommy friends at the prenatal yoga class you were planning on attending - give yourself permission to feel all of it. 

Learn to Set Boundaries 

Boundary setting is an excellent exercise for parenting at any time, but when it comes to the pandemic, you might be getting more practice than normal. Setting boundaries can bring up awkward conversations with friends and family who don’t get why they can’t hold the baby right away, or why you aren’t having visitors over at the moment. At the end of the day, you are the parent here, and if something isn’t bringing you joy, you don’t have to accommodate other’s needs right now. The immediate postpartum period is an incredibly vulnerable time of transition, so setting limits on who gets to be a part of that space is important. It’s okay to prioritize you and your family’s health and well-being. Practice exercising that “no muscle” in small ways throughout your pregnancy, so by the time the baby arrives, you feel less shame towards protecting your energy from situations that don’t serve you.

Schedule Time for Digital Detox

While staying informed is a way many people maintain their sense of control in an ever-changing world, it can be easy to start “doomscrolling” through the feed these days. Engaging in social activism-related media might feel like spiritual support right now - in which case, by all means, live your truth and spend your energy where it matters most. However, if you find yourself endlessly scrolling and feeling more anxious as time goes on, consider limiting your media intake. Replace the screen time with mindful moments like journaling or deep breathing to connect with your little one, checking someone off the “get ready for baby” to-do list, or read a book that takes your mind elsewhere. When in doubt, walk it out and get some fresh air, nourishing your body and mind in the process.

Rhiannon Langford is a doula and founder of Birth Boss Maternity Care, a support service for growing families. After working on a maternal mental health project with the BBC, she pivoted careers to offer care to those going through major life changes in hopes of reducing birth trauma and improving perinatal mental health. Since 2018, she’s helped hundreds of families feel empowered on their pregnancy, birth and postpartum journeys. She is also expecting her own quarantine baby in the spring of 2021. Follow Rhiannon at @birthbossco