How to Prepare Your Kids Emotionally for an International Move by Morgan Rose Elliot
Moving abroad is a significant life event, filled with exciting opportunities and unique experiences. However, for children, the transition can be emotionally challenging, as they leave behind familiar surroundings, friends, and routines. Preparing your kids emotionally for an international move is crucial to helping them adapt smoothly to the new chapter in their lives. In this article, we will explore key strategies that can ease the emotional strain of moving abroad and make the process more manageable for both you and your children.
1. Open and Honest Communication
One of the most important steps in emotionally preparing your kids for an international move is to have open and honest communication with them from the start. Children are perceptive, and hiding information about the move could lead to confusion and anxiety. Let your kids know early on that the family will be moving, and provide age-appropriate details about why the move is happening.
Encourage your children to ask questions, share their thoughts, and express their emotions. Some common concerns they may have include missing their friends, feeling scared of a new environment, or worrying about fitting in at a new school. By addressing these concerns openly, you create a safe space where they feel heard and validated.
2. Involve Them in the Process
Involving your kids in the moving process can help them feel a sense of control over the situation. Even though the decision to move may not be theirs, giving them an active role in planning can reduce feelings of helplessness. Depending on their age, kids can help with packing, choose what personal items they want to bring, or even research the new country.
You could create fun activities like making a family vision board of the new city or country you’ll be living in. Show them pictures of the new neighborhood, school, and playgrounds. This helps create excitement and helps them start imagining themselves in their new surroundings.
3. Research the New Culture Together
A big part of emotionally preparing children for an international move is familiarizing them with the new culture. Unknown environments can feel intimidating, so introducing them to the new country’s customs, language, and lifestyle can ease the adjustment process.
Together, you can explore things like the country’s holidays, foods, traditions, and fun facts. Watching videos, reading books, or attending cultural festivals related to the new country can make the experience enjoyable. Additionally, learning some common phrases in the local language can make children feel more confident about communicating in their new environment. This exploration can also help shift their focus from fear of the unknown to curiosity about the new adventure.
4. Encourage Emotional Expression
Children, like adults, will experience a range of emotions before, during, and after the move. It's essential to let them know that it's okay to feel sad, anxious, excited, or even angry about leaving their current home. Encourage them to talk about their emotions and provide them with constructive ways to express themselves.
For younger children, creative outlets such as drawing, journaling, or storytelling can be effective in helping them process their feelings. Older children might appreciate having one-on-one conversations where they can express their thoughts freely. Some kids may have difficulty talking about their emotions, so it’s important to observe their behavior. If they seem withdrawn, extra irritable, or overwhelmed, they may need more support. Regular check-ins will help ensure they’re coping healthily with the transition.
5. Plan Goodbyes and Stay Connected
Leaving friends, relatives, and familiar faces behind is often one of the hardest parts of moving for children. To help ease this emotional pain, plan special goodbyes with their closest friends and family members. This could be in the form of a farewell party, a series of playdates, or creating memory books where your kids can collect messages, photos, and souvenirs from friends. These thoughtful gestures allow children to process their emotions while giving closure to their time in their current location.
Reassure them that just because they’re moving doesn’t mean they’re leaving behind the people they care about. Thanks to technology, staying connected with friends through video calls, social media, or emails is easier than ever. You can even establish a routine for when they can catch up with their old friends—whether weekly, biweekly, or monthly. Knowing they don’t have to sever ties with loved ones can help alleviate some of the sadness associated with moving.
6. Maintain Familiar Routines
In the midst of so many changes, maintaining some sense of familiarity can help kids feel more grounded. Before, during, and after the move, try to maintain familiar routines as much as possible. This could include having the same bedtime schedule, continuing their favorite hobbies, or maintaining regular family traditions like movie nights or weekend outings.
After the move, ensure that your children have a few of their favorite items—whether it’s a toy, book, or a blanket—available in their new environment to provide comfort. Familiar routines act as a reassuring constant during a time of upheaval, providing kids with a sense of stability and security.
7. Set Realistic Expectations
It’s important to prepare your children for the fact that adjusting to a new country takes time. Let them know that it’s normal to feel out of place at first and that it’s okay to take their time to adapt. Explain that they may miss their old friends and routines but that, over time, they will make new friends, discover exciting new activities, and grow to love their new home.
As parents, modeling patience and a positive attitude toward the move can help children feel more optimistic. Instead of presenting the move as a “goodbye forever,” frame it as an exciting adventure with new opportunities.
8. Seek Professional Support if Needed
If you notice that your child is struggling more than expected with the idea of moving abroad, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. A therapist or counselor who specializes in childhood transitions can provide guidance and coping strategies to ease your child’s emotional burden. They may also offer valuable insights into managing culture shock, separation anxiety, or fear of the unknown.
Final Thoughts
Moving abroad is a transformative experience for both parents and children. While it can be emotionally challenging, preparing your kids with open communication, involvement, and emotional support will ease their transition into a new culture and environment. Remember to celebrate the journey as a family, and together you will create new memories that will enrich your children’s growth and adaptability in the years to come.
Morgan Rose Elliott is an aromatherapist, yoga instructor, animal lover, a happily married mother of three. She enjoys reading biographies and writing poems, sunny days on the beach and any shape and form of vanilla. Crazy about the '80s, her favorite band is Duran Duran (although kids prefer Franz Ferdinand, and the husband Blink182) and she is obsessed with Netflix original Stranger things.