My Body by Steph Lipson

This is my body. 

This is my body after growing and nourishing 3 children. 

This is my body after growing and nourishing 3 children, and binging far too much chocolate and junk during iso lockdown 2.0. 

This is my body. This is MY body. Isn’t it amazing.

It isn’t too fat, too thin, too round, too flabby, too stretchy, too scarred, too dimpled. It’s not any of those things, because in order for it to be any of those things, then I would need to be comparing it to something that is the same as my body. When the reality is that there is no other body in the whole world that is exactly the same as mine. 

So really, my body cannot be too much or not enough, as there was never a right or wrong way for it to be in the first place. My body just is. 

So why are we forever comparing ourselves to others? Looking to what we should be or should have rather than just stopping and marveling at the beauty and wonder that is our own body?

I still struggle to fully and wholeheartedly love my own body, but I am on my way there and working on it daily. For me, and so many others, loving our bodies is something we have to re-learn. We weren’t born hating our bodies, we learn to hate and distrust them from a young age. We are exposed to media, magazines, and adults that are constantly telling us that if we don’t look like this then we aren’t good enough. Or if we don’t look like this, then we can do “xyz” in order to “fix” how we look so we fit in. If we aren’t able to fit into society’s perfect, pretty, little box, then we start to doubt our own self-worth. And so these stories creep slowly into our every day and become so deeply ingrained, we forget how to love ourselves for who we are. We allow our self-worth to be determined by someone else. 

When I had my first and second babies. I loved my “new” body. I loved my pregnant body and I loved how my body looked postpartum too. I was skinnier than I had been in years. My hormones had sorted themselves out and I felt so good. In my mind, I was close to fitting into that pretty little box. But I still, deep down, didn’t love myself truly. I pretended to, but those stories of unworthiness still lingered around under the surface. Friends and family would compliment me on my appearance and I loved it, but I still didn’t feel like I was enough. I started to explore this after my son’s birth. I slowly, slowly started to re-write the stories that I was telling myself. My need for external validation from others to prove my worth started to fade. I started to explore loving my body, not because of how skinny, etc it was, but because of how amazing my body was. I didn’t want my children to grow up seeing me place the value of my self worth in my appearance. I wanted them to love themselves just the way they were. I wanted their self-worth to come from within and not from external sources. I knew that this was not something that I could teach them, but something I had to show them.

After the birth of my third baby. Things didn’t bounce back the way that they did with the first two. I kept waiting and waiting for the baby weight to just melt away like it did with the others. Initially, I did lose a bit of weight and I felt good. I was still exploring and leaning into loving my body as is, but I knew my old stories were still under the surface.

Iso 2.0 happened in Melbourne and this just threw me. All of the work I thought I had done on myself seemed to just unravel in a big heap. I was rewarding myself/numbing out my emotions with chocolate and other less than nourishing food choices. It has taken its toll. My body feels sad, it doesn’t feel healthy, it doesn’t feel loved. To be truly honest though, I couldn’t tell you the last time I felt strong and healthy within my body. I think it would have been my early teenage years. So this time, my focus is different. I’m not focusing on simply losing the weight with a crash diet or completely cutting out every single crap thing that I eat, because let’s be honest I really, really, like chocolate. Instead, I am focusing on redirecting how I nourish and move my body. How I express my emotions and noticing when I am using food to numb out. I am focusing on loving my body as it is. The way it is right now. Because one thing will never change, no matter what the scales say or how tight my clothes fit, my body will always be my body. So if I can’t love it now when it needs it the most, how can I truly love it when it’s healthier. How can I even expect it to become healthier, without love and nourishment in the first place?

I’m Steph, I’m a birth nerd and visionary, with a creative soul. I am Mama to 3 littles, and when I’m not taking photos or inspiring women to have a connected and supported postpartum experience, I also work as a registered nurse. My passion is creating connections with people, which is what drew me to the service industry in the first place. I love to keep things raw and real and I’m not afraid to tell it like it is. If you feel drawn to my vibe, I’m always up for a chat so feel free to reach out. 
Facebook @stephlipsondoulaphotographer
Instagram @stephlipson_doula_photographer
Website stephlipson.com