The Power of Once Upon a Time....How storytelling can nourish the parent-child relationship by Gill Howarth
Looking for a simple way to create a special bond between you and your child? Storytelling is a wonderful and powerful seed from which to grow a beautiful parent-child connection. And you don’t have to be an expert wordsmith to make the most of this practice.
Stories were once passed from generation to the next as the oldest form of education and human expression. These stories carried information, lessons, warnings and useful family history within the words. But beyond the teaching opportunities, stories also create emotional connection. During the storytelling the listener may experience a range of emotions (anger, sadness, empathy, joy etc) and this emotion connects us to the storyteller.
I know this because when I was little, my Mum told me stories at bedtime. I’ve reflected on my mum’s storytelling over the years. Her stories weren’t about entertainment. They were gentle. And to tell you the truth, I don’t even remember the specific plots or names of the characters.
When I stretch my mind back to these bedtime moments I find myself wading through faint memories of another world. A world with talking animals and magical plants. A world with long journeys to unknown destinations. A world where I found myself able to fly across mystical lands. And yet this world also held place for the mundane and the ordinary. Everyday life, such as hanging out the washing and eating breakfast.
And somehow, this magical world existed within the corners of the everyday, familiar places. We could travel effortlessly into this magical kingdom from my own backyard. It’s probably not a coincidence that I grew up to love the genre of magical realism. And even though I can not recall specifics beyond general themes and ideas I do vividly remember the experience of my mum’s nighttime storytelling.
I remember how I felt.
I remember a closeness to my mother.
I remember a sense of awe and wonder wrapped up in the warmest sense of safety,
I remember my mother’s presence.
I remember her time.
So much so, that both the words “cosy” and “safe” still to this day cultivate images in my mind of being tucked into bed and listening to my mother’s voice. Amidst the soft red glow of my childhood night light.
In later life I asked my Mum about our bedtime stories. She says she wasn't always feeling imaginative or creative in those moments. Often she was tired and ready for bed herself. And so sometimes the storytelling was very short. But it turns out, back in the late 1970s (I was born in 1978) she had come across an article that mentioned how good it was for children to listen to stories about their day before they went to sleep.
I imagine the stories acted like a reflective brain dump. A clearing out of the subconscious to make room for peaceful sleep. And so on those extra tiring parenting days, Mum said she would not have much energy to do anything but recite the happenings of our day in story form…
Along the lines of:
“Once upon a time there was a little girl who went to the park. It was a sunny day. They took the dog with them. The dog chased a bird. They laughed.”
And as for the magical aspect of her storytelling? Perhaps the magical stories came on nights where she felt more full. My mum says she just knew somehow that it was good for our young brains to conjure images of make-believe and wonder before sleep. A cocoon created out of a sense of awe for life - of possibilities. Of hope. Is it any wonder then that I grew into an adult with a passion for storytelling alongside a connection to the natural world and the magic of childhood?
Perhaps these passions were seeded in the bedtime storytelling I experienced as a child?
Our senses, emotions and memory are deeply connected. But I don't remember a tired Mother who was simply drawing upon our everyday life for story inspiration. I don’t remember the storytelling being short.
I just remember a sense of awe, wonder and closeness.
I’ve done my best to offer the same bedtime storytelling to my own children. I’ve also had the added bonus of having my Mum around to weave her storytelling for my boys as she did for me. I’ve heard her whispering a story to my basketball loving son about a boy just like him, who made a three point buzzer beater shot to win the game of the season.
I know my boys might not consciously remember these stories - just as I don’t.
But I do hope these moments will be stored safely within their inner worlds. Memories to be drawn upon as they grow older. Afterall, there is a reason the word “store” is to be found hidden within the word STORY .
And I hope that in the same way my mother once read an article that inspired her to tell her children simple stories at bedtime that this article will do the same for anyone reading it today.
And if you falter, and feel scared to begin, you can get started with a simple and yet well known phrase……
Once upon a time there was………
And then see what comes next.
I’m Gill Howarth, a Conscious Educator, an Educational Changemaker, Storyteller and Mother to 3 bright, beautiful and wild boys. With over 20 years experience working in education, studying and travelling across the world, I spent my early years immersed in a world of nature and the imagination. Days were spent mixing sand into the water, playing with the earth, asking questions, making up stories, and listening to the trees. I now find myself an advocate for nurturing these same elements in learning – for adults and children. I believe we create a strong foundation for learning (and life) via a strong connection to our inner world. I have always felt a connection to Teaching/Learning. I am a university qualified Early Childhood Educator and I also hold a Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing and Philosophy. I have studied and practiced different forms of yoga, meditation, and mindfulness since the age of 16 and am a qualified yoga and meditation teacher.
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Website - https://bornwise.com.au | www.wearenaturenetwork.com