Finding Your Inner Matriarch by Jessica Ord

You might have heard of the three ‘stages’ a woman will typically go through during her life as a Mum;

Maiden’- pre children, ‘Mother’ - during her years caring for young children, and ’Crone’ -once she becomes an older, established wise woman. 

But I think there’s a vital ‘stage’ missing here - ‘Matriarch’. 

That place where we’re no longer floundering in early Motherhood, desperately seeking rest, unsure of what’s ‘right’ for ourselves and our babies & looking for advice wherever we can find it. 

Instead, the Matriarch knows herself and what’s best for her and her family. She’s grounded, resilient and is taking her place in supporting the mothers around her in their journeys. 

It’s a stage of womanhood I couldn’t have even comprehended 6 years ago…sleep deprived and with absolutely no idea who I was after the birth of my son. Being my first baby, I looked to everyone… ANYONE to tell me ‘what to do’. 

Fast forward to today - 2 babies born in power & on my terms  - I have found my inner wisdom. 

The way I honed my intuition during my second pregnancy, seeking out MY feelings around options (as well as mindfully seeking out evidence based information) and getting comfortable with saying “No” when I needed to has had a lasting impact on my role as a Mother, and as a strong female leader in my community, both online and in person. 

You see, when you allow yourself to take a leading role in your pregnancy, when you decide that it’s time to take up space, value your needs, opinions and intuition …something magical happens. Other people in turn see you as a source of strength and wisdom.

I used to envisage a ‘Matriach’ as a stern, almost masculine female leader; Formidable and ‘bossy’. What I feel now, though, is softness, ease and strength. Having ultimate trust in myself and my instincts as a Mother, rather than anyone external to myself. 

Wanting to step into YOUR power during pregnancy and Motherhood? Here are my top tips: 

  • Find your voice! Ever wondered why you have no problem in voicing your needs to your partner? It’s because you feel safe..! Next time you KNOW you ought to be letting someone know that something’s not right or is needed for you - pretend they’re your partner. How would you speak to them? There’s a huge difference between being aggressive and being assertive! Voicing your needs doesn’t make you a bitch…!

  • Hone your intuition… next time you have a decision to make, really take note of how your body feels. Can you feel your muscles tensing up? Is your stomach feeling tight? That’s usually a pretty good indication that you intuitively feel this isn’t right for you. On the other hand if you feel a sense of lightness, or relaxing of your chest or shoulders… it probably means you’re on the right track for YOU! 

  • Practice makes perfect… stand up tall, shoulders back and make eye contact with yourself in the mirror. Say to yourself out loud, or in your mind one of these affirmations: 

“My voice and my presence has impact” 

“I trust my intuition”

“I am ready to take my place as Matriarch” 

“I lead this family with peace, joy and love”

 

Jessica Ord is a Mum of 2, a Doula and Hypnobirthing specialist. She is passionate about helping women find their own path during pregnancy and birth, helping them to enter into Motherhood feeling strong, capable and trusting in themselves. She’s the founder of Positively Pregnant which hosts an Online Hypnobirthing course, which was voted the ‘Best Online Antenatal course in England’. 

Find out more about hypnobirthing here: www.positivelypregnant.co.uk
Follow her on Instagram:
@positively_pregnant_uk