The Sandwich Generation: How to Find Balance Between Raising Kids and Caring for Aging Parents by Mia Barnes
Life has a way of stretching us in unexpected directions, pulling us between responsibilities, relationships and the desire for quiet moments of self-care. Being in the sandwich generation is stressful for many reasons. Between caring for children and aging parents, each day can feel like an unforgiving gauntlet.
While this stage of life can be full of exhaustion, isolation and overwhelm, I have found things that help. Using small, sustainable ways to care for yourself, you can show up for those who need you with more intention and grace.
The Challenges of Raising Kids While Caring for Older Parents
More than half of people in their 40s find themselves caught in the sandwich generation. It can be fulfilling yet undeniably challenging. An honest assessment of your situation will let you manage it more effectively.
Emotional and mental stress: Constantly shifting between caregiving roles can be laborious. Prioritizing everyone else’s needs while neglecting yours will eventually result in burnout, guilt and anxiety.
Financial strain: Raising kids is costly enough, and adding elder-care expenses can further challenge your budget. Falls are a concern, with one in five resulting in severe injuries, often leading to hospital stays and long-term care.
Time management struggles: Balancing work, parenting and caregiving leaves little room for well-being. I often struggle to find even a moment of peace, let alone the time to properly plan for the future.
Impact on relationships: Since caregiving is so stressful, it can take a toll on your marriage and even your relationships with your children and parents.
Strategies for Finding Balance
Use these tips to find balance again while caring for children and aging parents.
1. Prioritize Self-Care Without Guilt
As a caregiver, I often felt guilty when I didn’t cross every item off my to-do list. I overcame this by accepting that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Then, I started incorporating self-care into quality time with my parents and kids. Engaging in relaxing activities together can reduce stress and anxiety while strengthening your bond with family members.
2. Set Boundaries and Manage Expectations
It’s impossible to do everything for everyone, and that’s OK. Setting firm boundaries can prevent burnout. Communicate openly with your loved ones about what you can realistically handle and be comfortable saying no when necessary.
3. Using Support Systems and Resources
You don’t have to do it all alone. Seeking help from online support groups and professional caregivers can lighten the load. Family and friends can also be excellent resources, so don’t be shy about asking for assistance when you need it.
4. Financial Planning for Multigenerational Care
Caregiving can be a financial burden, especially when considering long-term care costs. In 2023, the average price of a private room in a nursing home exceeded $140,000 per year. Planning through savings, insurance and government assistance can alleviate the financial stress. It also ensures your parents receive the care they need.
5. Time Management and Delegation
Finding balance comes down to using time wisely. For me, this meant delegating tasks and setting realistic schedules to keep responsibilities manageable. Accepting that I couldn’t do everything — and prioritizing what matters most — made a significant difference.
Being part of the sandwich generation comes with unique challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to reflect and build more meaning into your life. Remember that you must take time for yourself so you can care for those you love. By re-focusing on the fundamentals, you can alleviate stress and be the champion you and your family deserve.
Mia Barnes is a professional freelance writer specializing in postpartum wellness and practical family health advice. She has over 5 years of experience working as Body+Mind magazine's Editor-in-Chief. You can follow Mia and Body+Mind on X and Instagram @bodymindmag.