Zephyr's Birth Story by Fatima Wheeler
It was a transformative moment when during my first pregnancy, at 39.5 weeks, I found myself in my midwife’s office asking a question that would alter my birth plan and set the course of where I am in my career today. Early in my pregnancy, I had hired a private midwife and I was planning to give birth at the Gold Coast University Hospital.
When I was approaching my due date I saw a woman giving birth at home on Instagram. She was one of my midwife’s clients. So naturally, I asked my midwife at the end of my last appointment, “What is the difference between birthing at home or at a hospital?”
Her eyes widened and started sparkling. Her body and energy changed, and she went on to tell me how amazing birthing at home is and how it doesn’t compare to anything else. My husband got excited and they both began chatting more about it. By the end of the conversation, my midwife said to me, “If you want to birth at home I have a new birth pool which you can take home if you want. You don’t have to decide now but let me know.”
My husband was fully on board and said let’s do it. We took the birth pool and I hadn’t yet agreed to anything at that stage, but on the car ride home I felt their sense of excitement - especially my husbands and I got swept up in all that positive energy so I said: “ok let’s do it, let’s birth at home.” Later that day we texted my midwife and she said she would send what we needed through to us so we could prepare. We had the birth pool and some fairy lights and thought we were all ready to go.
The following week I was still pregnant (40.5 weeks), my midwife came over to my place to check our set-up and also my baby. She was surprised to see we didn’t have any supplies. She asked if we received her requirement ‘list’, which we hadn’t. So after her visit, there was a mad dash to go out and get everything on that list - some of it included a hose for the pool, old towels etc. I think my little guy knew we weren’t ready & was waiting for us to be all set up for his arrival.
Later that night I started to get slight cramps in my stomach. I was able to get a little sleep that night.
However, the following morning I had started to get more intense cramps so I suggested we go for a walk up Burleigh Hill in the afternoon so I could naturally begin to ‘walk the baby out,’ as a few of my friends had suggested. I kept stopping because my ‘period cramps’ which were my surges came every several minutes or so. We came home & ate a big hearty dinner that my mum had prepared, which would be the last proper meal I had. Later that night I threw up my dinner - the first real signs that I was in labour. We messaged our midwife at 6 pm to tell her there were signs of labour.
That night my husband & I hardly got any sleep, and I paced around the living room as I started my early latent phase of labour. At this point, I began to use the tens machine whenever I felt discomfort in my lower abdomen which helped so much. In the morning from about 10 am, we began to time the surges. I remember I had just had a green smoothie & was pacing around the living room. When I would get a surge I would hold onto the baby’s change table & focus on my breath. Hubby thought he would keep my state of mind positive so he put some salsa music on - he began dancing & got me to join in with him. However, I suddenly felt the urge to throw up and ran to the balcony where I threw up all the contents of my green smoothie.
From about midday to 1.30 pm my surges got stronger & we began to time them. This was the most challenging part of the whole labour (including birth). I felt all the discomfort in my back & I was so grateful for the tens machine I had borrowed from my midwife. It wasn’t until about 12.30 pm that my husband finally texted my midwife to come over. We had no idea how far along I was dilated. When our midwife finally arrived & checked me out I was 10cm (FULLY dilated) - she couldn’t believe it, she said she thought I’d be about 5cm by observing the state I was in (must have been all the breathing & yoga I had practiced during pregnancy ).
We were all so happy and my husband & I cried tears of joy. At that same moment when she had checked me my waters naturally broke. She then said I could start pushing! We were in disbelief & so proud that we reached the 10cm dilation by ourselves.
Right after this, there was an element of chaos with calls to the additional midwife and our videographer (which we hadn’t notified). My hubby also had to quickly fill the birth pool. Once the rest of the team had arrived, I felt really in control. I was telling my mum to light the candles, turn my birthing music on, grab my bikini on etc. It felt like I was a conductor of a production. Once I hopped in the pool the water was so relaxing & the whole environment that I created in my living room seemed so serene. With every surge, I was able to begin to push. I started to feel the head begin to come out then it would gently slip away. Throughout all this, I felt no pain, only intense acheyness in my back which was distracting so I got my mum & croyden to massage during my surges.
I was surrounded by my midwife & my husband saying positive words, I also had my affirmations & images right next to the pool that I focused on. After 2 hours of actively pushing my midwife suggested I walk to the bathroom as she intuitively knew the positions I was using in the pool weren’t working. (We later found out that the baby had his cord wrapped around his neck inside me). When I got out of the pool I began to feel gravity do its job and the head started to slowly descend. By the time I reached the bathroom and stood over the toilet (with hubby behind me), I felt him coming! It was about 30 seconds of being there and using my birth breathing coached by my midwife that he pretty much flew out in one go. He also had his first poo (meconium) when he came out !! We couldn’t believe it - it all happened so fast !! I think I was in shock as I couldn’t believe that the transition to the bathroom using a different position made him come so quickly. It felt so surreal and I had so much joy that I did it! All the preparation, consistency, intuitiveness & hard work had paid off! I had a drug-free, pain-free, home birth with my firstborn baby. Something I’ve never worked so hard for in my life came true !!
Reflecting on the journey, I acknowledged the initial fears I carried into pregnancy and the determination to document my birth to inspire others to overcome similar fears. Coming from a family who all have fear around birth, my main intention to video my birth was to inspire others that you don’t need to be fearful of it. We hear, watch & read so many traumatic, horror stories about birth - whether it’s from our mothers, other family members, friends or even people we don’t know. I remember a family friend telling me to watch ‘one born every minute’ and saying that not all births are the natural, perfect ones you see in pics. I’ve had people say I’m too petite /small that it would be impossible for a baby to come out of me & I’d end up having a c-section.
I’ve had people say “Go to the hospital” It’s much ‘safer’ than birthing at home.
At first, it was hard to let go of all the outside noise and focus on a positive birth. However, the power of visualisation, coupled with education, self-care, and trust, can pave the way for an empowering birth experience.
I share my story with the hope that pregnant mothers, present and future, find inspiration. To all mothers-to-be, remember: you can do it, embrace the process, and allow yourself to surrender to the transformative journey of giving birth.
You can find me :
@fatimawheeler or @birthinggoddess