How to Manage Mum Rage: A Naturopathic Approach to Finding Balance By Georgia Hartmann
Motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with love, joy, and countless precious moments. It also comes with its fair share of challenges and frustrations. I know this too well as a mum of two. At the time of writing, Otto is my fiery 3-year-old, and his sister Rumi is now 15 months.
It's not uncommon for mums to experience moments of intense anger, often referred to as "mum rage." While it's natural to feel overwhelmed at times, learning how to manage these emotions is essential for your well-being and the harmony of your family. So let’s explore mum rage and provide you with valuable insights and strategies to help you find balance and manage this challenging aspect of motherhood.
Understanding Mum Rage
Mum rage is not something to be ashamed of or dismissed. It's a natural emotional response to the many demands and stressors that come with being a mother. It can manifest as sudden bursts of anger, irritability, frustration, and even feelings of guilt. Mum rage can be triggered by various factors, including sleep deprivation, hormonal changes, lack of support, and the never-ending list of responsibilities that come with caring for a family.
It's important to acknowledge that our bodies and minds are interconnected. Emotional well-being is closely tied to physical health, and imbalances in one area can affect the other. Naturopathic medicine seeks to address the root causes of health issues and promote healing through natural means. When it comes to managing mum rage, this holistic approach can be incredibly beneficial.
Are you taking care of yourself?
As a mum, it's easy to put your needs last while caring for your family. However, neglecting your own well-being can lead to increased stress and feelings of resentment, which absolutely can contribute to mum rage.
I urge you to start carving out time for self-care activities that rejuvenate you. Whether it's a warm bath, a walk in nature, or a few moments of meditation, a weekly coffee with a girlfriend, a pilates class, a run. Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish; it's a necessary part of being a healthy and present mother. After all, don’t we want to model how to be a healthy, happy person to our children? Ditch the guilt.
What are your hormones doing? And have you checked your nutrient status?
Hormonal fluctuations can play a significant role in triggering mum rage, especially during pregnancy and breastfeeding. You may notice that once you start ovulating and having a regular menstrual cycle again that you feel a little more yourself. The reason for this is because when you ovulate you make good levels of hormones oestrogen and progesterone. Oestrogen lifts you up and makes you feel happy and strong, and progesterone calms you down; it’s your calming, soothing hormone. So when you ovulate regularly, that’s how you should feel: happy, strong yet calm.
Also know that other hormones such as thyroid hormones affect energy and mood. As can underlying nutrient deficiencies including that of iron, vitamin D and vitamin B12. Is it time to get some testing done to understand what your hormones and nutrients are doing?
Sleep your way to a happier, calmer parent
Sleep deprivation is a common trigger for mum rage. A lack of sleep can lead to increased irritability and emotional instability. While I know all too well how hard it can be to get good quality sleep, we must prioritise rest. Have a mug of chamomile tea before bed to help calm your nervous system; avoid screens before bed to help secrete the sleep-promoting hormone, melatonin; ensure your bedroom is dark and quiet; lean on your support network to mind the kids for a night (or even a few hours) so you can get at sleep one decent sleep.
3 ways to manage your stress, naturally
Stress is an inevitable part of motherhood, but it's essential to manage it effectively to prevent mum rage. Here are 3 ways you can start managing your stress today:
What is your body asking of you?
Often when we get angry it’s our body telling us our own personal needs are not being met. So what is your body asking of you? Do you need sleep? Or help around the house? Or time to yourself? Or to get back into exercise? Tune in. This will help guide you.
Might you need some herbal medicine?
Adaptogenic herbal medicines such as ashwagandha (or withania) and rhodiola can help your body adapt to stress and reduce its negative effects. Consult with a naturopathic practitioner at Hormone Health Studio for a personalised treatment plan and prescription.
Is it time to prioritise mindfulness?
Engaging in mind-body practices like yoga, tai chi, or daily breathing exercises can not only promote relaxation but also help reduce feelings of stress, overwhelm and anger. Schedule it into your routine!
Is it time to get some extra support?
You don't have to navigate the challenges of motherhood alone. Seeking support from friends, family, and professionals such as our Naturopaths at Hormone Health Studio can make a significant difference in managing mum rage. Sharing your experiences and feelings with others who understand can provide emotional relief and a sense of community.
A word on Mindful Parenting
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing mum rage. By staying present in the moment and approaching parenting with a calm and non-judgmental attitude, you can reduce the likelihood of angry outbursts. Here are some mindful parenting tips include:
Take deep breaths. When you feel anger rising, pause, leave the room, and take five deep breaths to calm your nervous system before responding to your child.
Practice empathy. Try to see the situation from your child's perspective. Get down to their level and give them your undivided attention to try and understand why they are behaving this way.
Set boundaries. Establish clear and consistent boundaries with your children to reduce frustration for both you and them. We can be gentle, mindful parents and have strong boundaries at the same time.
Mum rage is a common and an understandable emotional response to the challenges of motherhood. However, it is important to know that you can address the root causes of these emotions and find balance in your life. Prioritising self-care, balancing hormones, improving sleep hygiene, managing stress, seeking support, and practising mindful parenting are all effective strategies to help you manage mum rage and foster a healthier, more harmonious family environment. Remember that you are not alone in this journey, and seeking help when needed is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Georgia Hartmann is a Naturopath, founder of Hormone Health Studio, and mum of two. Having been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure two years prior to conceiving her first child naturally, Georgia’s passion lies within helping women overcome their hormonal imbalances through the blend of conventional and complementary medicine. For additional support, check out Hormone Health Studio here.
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